World Religions.

So much potential.

That is oh so wasted.

This class truly is a shame. I have taken classes that I do not particularly enjoy (ahem, high school years... but math, science, french... not my cup 'o' tea) and even in University there are some courses that are not my favourite (Hello Effective Writing and World Civilizations) but I have never taken a class that actually makes me angry.

It's not because the content is so bad that it leads to the evoking of anger... It's because there is SO much untapped potential in this class. The first day of this class there was probably about fifty people sporadically placed around the class there are now (let me scan the classroom and check...) 14 students, all of which are in the very last row on their laptops. Student X, remaining unnamed for their safety ;), is playing FreeCell, Student Y to my right, remaining anonymous for the aforementioned reason, is on facebook, and every other student I can see is fooling around on their computer to some extent. This class is painfully pathetic and horribly heinous!

It's so frustrating because I think it could be fantastic. Not to mention it's at 8:15 - ew.

Such a cryin', cryin', cryin' shame... My ode to Jack Johnson. WHOM by the way is one dreamy man... in a heterosexual way... He is as dreamy as they come.

Signed,

Bored in the backrow.

RE.

"And what was said to the rose to make it unfold, was said to me here in my chest" - David Crowder Band

"Re" seems to be a recurring (aha!) theme in my life lately. So many words that begin with those two commonly used letters are so applicable and appropriate for how I am currently feeling in my life.

I feel refreshed, rejuvenated, relieved, renewed, etc... I feel new, I feel alive. I have had a sudden inrush of passion, love, joy, excitement and general zeal for life. I have never felt better. It has got me to thinking of how God works in lives. Last semester was a rough one for me. Feelings of apathy determined what I did with myself. I was not overly motivated to do much with myself, I felt as though maintaining status quo with my life was perfectly acceptable. I did not have much desire to strive for more. But then I did the best thing for myself that I have done in months, something that was severely lacking within my personal life, and that is reading the Bible.

It is an incredible thing to see how spending regular time in the bible has had a direct influence on the course of my life. Regular time in the bible seems like such a natural thing to do as a Christian and just what everyone should always do, but lately I have seen more and more in my current situation that there is a decreasing number of individuals in regular scripture study. OH what they are missing out on!

I have never felt so impassioned and alive in my life than I have lately. God has opened His flood gates into the centre of my soul, and let me be the first to say, it is incredible! The word of God is moving in me, transforming me, and changing me daily. Life has become an adventure, a journey, an experience again... I am alive with excitement for where I am going and what is happening within me!

I have come to the realization that I am not meant to be a mediocre man, nor do I desire to be. I am not going to have a mediocre life, a mediocre ministry, or mediocre anything. Mediocrity is not good enough for me, it is not what I want... I want extraordinary, phenomenal, and unprecedented impact. I know that this is only possible through one means, and that is God. I have nothing without Him, He is what I need, what I seek after, what I desire... I want God to use me. I know that on a biological level I am no different than any other human on earth... but that does not limit me to a life the same as everyone else.

I know that God has big plans for my life, I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I have had two incidents that could have very easily taken my life, medical experts would say I should no longer be "kickin" it on mother earth... yet here I am. God has a plan for my life, Jeremiah 29 promises me that. But with that said I think that to whom much is given, much is required... I have been given infinitely more than I could have ever hoped for, which is an incredible blessing... But I also think it means that infinitely more is going to be required of me, and has been required of me. I feel as though I never have any right to be prideful again (I am unfortunately, because I have so much "ugly!") but I know that anything I have in this world, what I think I have, is a direct blessing, gift, and privilege from God. Something I do not deserve.

I guess you can call me a man on a mission. I know that God has a high calling on my life, I know that there are a lot of expectations on me, and I know that I cannot just maintain status quo... I have to be a leader in this generation, I desire to be a vessel that God uses to reach the nations.


I went for a directionless drive with a good friend yesterday through neighbourhoods and on the high way. I passed countless houses, cars, people on walks... All I am sure have a great life, but it made me realize there are many people doing the same, mundane things on a daily level , living life at status tuo (wa-ohohoh, stick to the status quo.. HSM anyone?) BUT I am beyond convinced that as Christians we have so much more to offer this world.

We can and should be a movement. We are called to be a movement of love, hope, joy. This movement is one that cannot be stopped.

In fact, the only thing stopping us is ourselves...

Be blessed,

kAt.

Relationships.

Here's something that has been cycling around blogs and emails and notes and all of that jazz... it's powerful, it's practical, it's real. 

----------------------

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says...

No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, will you be ready to have the intensely personal, and unique relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. Just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am, keep listening and learning the things I tell you. Just wait. That's all.

Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at things others have got or I have given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. Just keep looking up to me, or you will miss what I have to show you.

And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could dream of. You see, until you are ready and the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time.), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and thus is perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of Perfect Love, of your relationship with another as you become One. I want you to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and Love that I offer. A perfect love that is unified by me. Know that I love you utterly. Believe it! Be satisfied!

-- Jesus. 

I know what is missing...

Something's Missing - John Mayer

I'm not alone, I wish I was
'Cause then I'd know I was down because
I couldn't find a friend around
To love me like they do right now
They do right now

I'm dizzy from the shopping mall
I searched for joy but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
And a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
At all

When Autumn comes, it doesn't ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is, no I don't know what it is
At all

I can't be sure that this state of mind
Is not of my own design
I wish there was an over-the-counter test for loneliness
For loneliness like this

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Something's different
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Friends - check
Money - check
Well-slept - check
Opposite sex - check
Guitar - check
Microphone - check
Messages waiting on me when I come home - check

How come everything I think I need
comes with batteries?
What do you think it means?
How come everything I think I need...
________________________________________________________________

...Never quite adds up? Always dissappoints? Everything you think you need has such high promises, such great guarantees. It promises to bring true inner contentment, promises to bring joy, happiness, fame, wealth, it promises the world... But it does nothing but prove to be futile, empty, shallow, and leaves you feeling worse than you began?

John Mayer, ahh I hear the girl's hearts swooning already. I hear some ridiculously talented guitar riffs just screaming off the page. I hear a voice that most would kill to have, and I see a young celebrity who could have any girl he wants, has had so many celebrity relationships, has the sold out concerts every night, has absolutely everything the world and our society claims to be the greatest, everything our world tries to hold up to value... Yet he writes a song about how he positively has something missing, how he isn't complete, how he has everything he could ever want, yet it's not enough. Hmmmm, very peculiar?

I think not. In fact I know not.

In fact it seems like it's becoming a common trend in today's world. Too many people buy the lie that the more you have, the better off you will be. But is bigger really better? I'm not convinced. The more you have does not necessarily equate to the more happiness you will possess.

Mr. John Mayer, John Doe, and far too many people who walk this earth, I know what is missing. It's Jesus Christ.

Our world is pushing away the one thing we absolutely, positively need to focus our life on. We're pushing Him out of schools, out of the malls, out of the stores, out of our lives, which is the one place we need Him the most.

The world we dwell in struggles with greed, jealousy, consumerism, materialistic ways, unfaithfulness, a lack of moral good, and a whole plethora of other deep-rooted issues. In this lost and hopeless world, I'm convinced the only hope we can solidly rely on is found solely in the life and death of Jesus Christ.

It been my experience that the greatest moments of joy and happiness I have experienced in my life are not the possessions I have, they are not found in what I buy, have, or get... They are found in the moments where I am doing exactly what I am callled to do. Place my hope, my love, my all into my saviour Jesus Christ, the times where I am sacrificially generous, overwhelmingly faithful, and serving from a humble heart. Now I admit, these moments are rare and far between in my life, and I am working on increasing the frequency of these times in my life, but I know that those are the times where I feel most complete, most full of joy, most free, and most loved.

John Mayer, you're missing the most valuable, incredibly gift ever offered your way. I promise you that you will not be dissappointed, I promise you will not be left down, in fact you'll be loved beyond anything you have ever witnessed or experienced. You're right you know, you're not designed to feel this way, you're not created to be alone, you're created to love and be loved, best part is, it's free.

And there's no need for batteries.

Truth hurts??? I think it brings forth freedom.

It's funny.

The truth hurts has become a cliche of this day and age... I think that the only reason the truth hurts is because oftentimes we lie, disguise, or avoid the truth. We avoid things that may 'rub us the wrong way' hoping that it will disappear but we all know that never happens... We may temporarily avoid the uncomfortable feelings that the truth may bring our way... But avoiding the stitch will rarely bring true authentic joy, peace, and comfort into the centre of our souls.

A great example is avoiding the basic hygiene practice of brushing your teeth. Sometimes when it's late at night, or a rushed morning it's difficult to find the minute to brush your teeth, so you just think "I'll have gum, mouthwash, and do an extra job tonight" (Okay, I know this is disgusting, but don't act like it hasn't happened to you at some point in your life! In case you were wondering, I brush my teeth at a high frequency - I'm a part of the cavity free club at my dentist!) And this may lead to a slight tooth ache, and we just avoid doing anything about it. But eventually we get a cavity, or need a root canal, and for anyone who has had either of those, you cannot avoid that! It is far too painful! All that to say, is that avoiding telling the truth right up front is what causes the truth to hurt.

I have come to realize that avoiding the truth, avoiding things that may make me feel uncomfortable, lying, or distorting the truth are some of the most damaging things one can do in a relationship. Whether that be a relationship with a friend, signficant other, parent, business partner - anyone... it causes severe damage. And the only way to remedy the damage that has been done is through telling the truth, the fully truth, and nothing but the truth (My tribute to the justice system) which is so often what hurts. It is far from easy telling the truth at all times, I get that, I know that well. But it's even more difficult to tell the truth after lying to disguise the reality.

The Glorious Unseen - Hear Our Cries Lord

Hear our cries Lord,
Hear our prayers.
Take our burdens,
Calm our fears.

God will you make us
A people that love You.
Please take our offerings
That we set before You.
God hear our prayers
That we're lifting up to You.
God see our tears
That we're struggling to see through.
God, hear our prayers to You.

In our weakness,
You remain.
When we're broken,
You sustain.

God will you make us
A people that love You.
Please take our offerings
That we set before You.
God hear our prayers
That we're lifting up to You.
God see our tears
That we're struggling to see through.

God hear our prayers.
We lift them to You.
God hear our prayers,
Lord make our hearts true.
Will You make our hearts true?

Hear our prayers Lord.

God will you make us
A people that love You.
Please take our offerings
That we set before You.
God hear our prayers
That we're lifting up to You.
God see our tears
That we're struggling to see through.
God hear our prayers
As we lift them to heaven.
We're praying the angels
Receive and embrace them.
The hopes of the empty,
The cries of the broken.
We're reaching our hands out,
Oh Lord will You hold them?

-------------------------

If you have not heard of the Glorious Unseen I strongly encourage you to check them out. I recently bought their album, and not only is it solid music... It's worship. it's powerful. Lyrics that touch the heart. Yes, I love them!

People People People.

Is it weird that I love to people watch?

If it is, call me the King of quirky, and captain crazy... Because I really enjoy watching people on the street, in their cars, and essentially anywhere that people will be. I am not a crazed stalker, I assure you of that, I do not go out of my way to watch individuals, nor do I follow any individuals more than others... So, have no fears, I am anything but a crazy stalker!   

Sometimes I just like to sit (i.e. at a train station) and look at the people that walk by. I’m not sure why I enjoy it, because more often than not, to be completely honest and truthful, it breaks my heart.

This moment I am sitting on seventh floor, a floor where people often come to just “be” to relax, hang out, socialize, and catch up between class periods.  Earlier today I was driving downtown to my classes, and I remember looking around from car to car, looking at the people in their cars, and sometimes I just wonder, why are people the way they are.

I could go into the philosophy argument over the identity of self is, using David Hume’s argument that people find their personal identity in bundles of perceptions and memories. Essentially saying that people are the way they are, their self identity is found in nothing more than a bundle of interconnected perceptions.

I could use Sigmund Freud’s argument that our personality is divided up into many different parts, that we are the way we are because of the unconscious, the ego and the super ego.

Blah, Blah, Blah... I don’t want to talk about school work, I have too much of that as it is, I do not even intend on discussing this topic into great depth. I was sitting and noticing how many different people act and I wanted to blog since it has been well over a month, and so I thought I would write on that.

I think what I really wanted to get at is the very obvious fact that we are all people, people who bleed, burn, break, we all cry, complain, and we all laugh. We are all carbon-based life forms, and we are all connected together, whether we like to admit that or not, it’s true and there is nothing we can do to avoid or change this fact.

I realize I am far from perfect, in fact, many things I will be saying in this little writing I will have contradicted many times in my life, but perhaps that is why I can write on this, because I realize the destruction involved, I get the feelings behind the various facades that are placed by so many people.

Virtually everyone knows the song written by War, entitled “Why Can’t we be friends”  (it just says, Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends... over and over again, catchy little jingle) I think we would all do well to listen to that and realize the deep truth in the song.  

Why can’t we be friends?

We’re not so different, I promise you. I’m not so different from you, no matter who you are, where you’re from, what you have done (hey that’s kind of like a backstreet boys song), I can assure you, with a very reasonable level of certainty that we could be friends. Let us test this out: Do you have parents (yes), what are they like? What’s your favourite kind of food, after all I can guarantee that you at the very least appreciate food. How about hobbies, I know you have hobbies, what do you love to do. What are you passionate about, what are you all about, why? That is a conversation that you can have with any person on this earth, and every single person will have answers to. I realize that their answers may be different, potentially polar-opposites from what you would say, but a conversation will be had, and in conversation you have the opportunity to learn. If the answers are completely different, you can learn about new topics, your eyes can be opened to new perspectives, new ideas, new experiences, and that in and of itself is a truly great and exciting opportunity!  

We all need people in our lives, we all need community, and we all need love. Without love, the fabric of our souls are unfed, they’re deprived of one of the very few things we are designed to need.  

One thing that breaks my heart about the people I see around me is that they’re all crying out for love, but they’re unwilling to receive it, or they are unwilling to meet the one thing that can truly satisfy them.  Many people try to receive love in all the wrong places, trying desperately to gain acceptance and love in sex, drugs, and alcohol. They feel that if they give themselves to another, they will feel needed, they will feel accepted. They think that taking drugs will take their mind away from the pain; it will bring them to happiness. They learn to love the feeling of being drunk, because they can dull the pain away, they can deny how they are truly feeling; they can ignore their body’s cry for love, by overpowering it with alcohol. But this can only take you so far. You cannot ignore your bodies cry forever, eventually, no matter what style of life you live, if there is an absence of true love, you will feel empty and alone.  A feeling that only one God can fill.  

A love that only one God can give. 

- kAt