Kyle Alexander's

Cheater, Cheater, Cheater.

2010-11-17T10:25:00.000-08:00

Dear blog:

I feel like I am cheating on you. And I am sorry. But I am not sorry enough to change my mind. I have a new blog. I am laying you to rest.

SO EVERYONE... CLICK HERE:

It's just better.

So friends, if you want to know what I am doing... Follow that blog now, that's where my thoughts will be.

Blessings,
-kAt

Breaks - They are Important.

2010-10-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

The more I read and study the Old Testament the more I realize the fundamental necessity of taking a Sabbath. It is not a nice, polite suggestion given to us, it is an authoritative command from the creator of the universe. I think out of all the Ten Commandments this is nearing the top of the list for most ignored. And I can understand why… I have been guilty of this for the majority of my life. But through discussions I have had over the last few years, and through studying Exodus as of late I have realized that this is far more than a ‘if you do this, you will be okay’… this is a YOU HAVE TO DO THIS.

I’m going to go through a couple of passages in the Bible that talk about a Sabbath… The logical spot to start is where we first see this idea of Sabbath.

So when and where is the first time we a Sabbath?

We see the God of all creation taking a Sabbath break after creating the world. Light stuff right? HAH, get real.

What I love about the first Sabbath, when God took a Sabbath is that it COMPLETELY dismantles one of the main arguments I have heard for people to not take a Sabbath is “I don’t need a Sabbath this week, I am feeling good, I’m not tired, I’m not burn-out, I can just keep on truckin’ along.” Wrong… you can’t!

The reason this text dismantles that argument is that do you really think GOD needed a break? I’m pretty sure He didn’t need to take a Sabbath, He is more than capable to keep on ‘truckin’ along’.

Yet, we see that He took a Sabbath. Why? To model for us that it is pivotal in a life that brings Him glory. To show that we NEED this far more than we will ever understand. He took a Sabbath to bless this day so that as we enjoy the Sabbath we will be rested, rejuvenated, renewed, and restored so that we can function at a higher capacity throughout the week.

Through God’s taking a Sabbath He forever blessed a day of rest for us, His followers/worshipers (Gen. 2:2). God specially blesses the Sabbath day for you and I to enjoy and to rest.

Rhetorical question time…

Do you think it is wrong to kill? Does the Bible teach that it is wrong?
Do you think it is wrong to sleep around? Does the Bible teach this clearly?
Do you think it is wrong to steal? Does the Bible ‘sort of’ cover this subject?
Do you think it is wrong to worship someone/thing other than the Lord?
Where does the Bible stand on creating and worshipping idols? Is it clear teaching?
What are we taught regarding being jealous for other’s possessions? Black and white, right?
Should you treat your parents well?
Is it okay to treat the Lord with mediocre respect, kind of like you do a nice pen… or are we taught to revere Him, respect Him, and treat His name with total respect?
What about lying? Is it appropriate or inappropriate biblically speaking?
… Maybe you get where I am going with this.

Those are the nine of the Ten Commandments paraphrased (see Exodus 20 for the full list). The tenth commandment, I’m guessing you can figure it out based on the previous 564 words on the Sabbath.

The commandment not listed is this

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.”

Exodus 20:8-11 (NIV)

When you continue on in Exodus we read the following about the Sabbath

“Observe the Sabbath, because it is holy to you. Anyone who descreates it must be put to death…”
Exodus 31:14

And my final passage I am using about the Sabbath is this…

“Six days you shall labor, but on the seventh day you shall rest; even during the plowing season and harvest you must rest.”

Exodus 34:21

It becomes obvious, quickly that the Sabbath is not optional. It is entirely mandatory. We have to observe it. Not just when it is convenient, or when we are exhausted. One of my professors always says that the Sabbath isn’t just for when you need it, if you feel like you need a break it is already too late! The Sabbath is designed to prevent us from ever feeling burnt out.

Maybe you’re thinking… “Okay, I get it… I have to take time off, I have to break, it’s important. BUT, the thing is, I have this really important assignment/paper/test due soon…” Well, the third verse I used puts that to rest fairly quickly. For the Israelites (and you agricultural-savvy people, you’ll understand this very well) plowing and harvesting your field was absolutely necessary. No ‘ifs, ands, or buts’ it was their livelihood, it was their existence, it was how they lived, it was the means for EVERYTHING they had to sustain themselves. Far more important than homework, sporting events, anything like that nonsense. It was life itself for them. If they didn’t harvest in time (before the rains came or snow or anything like that) they would have no food to bring income to them and no food for the winter. And if they didn’t plow the fields they wouldn’t have a field prepared well enough for them to every plant any food. It was necessary, get the picture?

With all of that in mind God still told them “Take a break.” God knows everything, He is sovereign and is infinite in His wisdom. And with that all-knowing wisdom told us to take a break. I’m sure we can trust Him enough to take a break.

So the argument that we have something very important to do or we are too busy has been dismantled by Exodus 34:21.

But it isn’t just dismantling arguments, I think if we adopt in our lives a regular Sabbath we gain a lot.

We learn about responsibility and proper planning. If we know that we have that designated time of rest (whether that be Sunday, or Thursday night or whatever it may be) we have to plan around that.

It teaches us responsibility.

It teaches us to plan our time lives with maturity.

It teaches good life skills.

It sets in place a pace of life that is sustainable.

It enables us to engage better throughout the week with the tasks we do have to do. If we work all day long everyday, we will eventually burn out. That is simply NOT sustainable. If we take a period of time every week as a break, I can PROMISE you that you will be much, much better off.

And I don’t promise you on any authority I have, I don’t promise you on my experience. I promise you based on the reality that the word of God says so…

It’s a gift from God, don’t deny that gift… It is good, because the giver is good.

There’s a lot more power there than anything I could ever begin to muster.

Blessings my friends, rest well.

-kAt

How to be trendy in today's world...

2010-10-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

Ellen DeGeneres calls this the Trendy Trending Trends. I thought I couldn't steal that title, so I wanted to give it a shout-out in the first sentence. So, task #1 with this blog... completed.

Now on with the meat of the blog entry... It is no secret that culture is always changing, people are always changing, music is always changing, tastes/interests are always changing.

Well, I'm not in high school anymore, in fact the youth group here in Cobourg didn't even know who Hanson was (I mean, seriously? Who doesn't know the classic song, MmmBop?!?!) So, I realized I am getting old and out of touch. So I decided I ought to pay more attention to this next, upcoming generation (that trendy book writers and culture-analysts call the iY generation).

So, here is how to fit in with this upcoming generation. According to this old, out of touch 21 year old...

1. Wear SillyBandz. Elastic bands that when they are not stretched, form a shape (i.e. Dolphin, Guitar, Bird, etc) AND, pay only 6 dollars for the thinnest bands of plastic I have ever seen. Steal of a deal if you ask me.

2. Be scared of clowns. It seems that everyone is terrified of clowns these days. Whenever I ask someone why? They never have a response other than 'I dunno, they're creepy!' They are scared of clowns because everyone is scared of clowns.

3. Whenever you feel 'zany, crazy, or loud' just say "I totally have ADHD." You wouldn't believe the amount of teenagers nowadays with ADHD or ADD... seems like just about anybody that has had a sodapop has ADHD.

4. Say you have a food issue. Trendy ones I heard a lot this summer were: Allergic to certain food items, Lactose Intolerant (the best was when a self-proclaimed Lactose Intolerant individual said she couldn't have the cheese while having 2.8 litres of ranch dressing), but the BE-ALL-END-ALL food thing to say you have it a celiac's disease. Say you can't have gluten... that's the golden-ticket winner.

5. Be the biggest Harry Potter fan. Ever. And second place in your heart as far as movies go... without question, Twilight.

6. If you are a teenage girl... Have a crush on Justin Bieber.

7. If you are a teenage boy... While in public always declare you categorically HATE Justin Bieber, but mimic his hair and clothing style as best as you possibly can.

That is all the advice I have for anyone growing up in today's world on how to be cool.

Goodluck friends.

-kAt

The Tension of Receiving Praise.

2010-10-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

Leadership is an amazing thing.

I am fascinated by it, and always have been. I read leadership books and blogs for fun, I think leadership is vitally important (and inevitable-it will happen like it or not!), and I believe that good leadership is one of the most fundamentally important things in our culture.

Throughout the past couple of years I have had the incredible opportunity to be involved in some very cool leadership capacities. Through these experiences I have come to realize that no matter what area of leadership you are involved with there is always an awkward tension present. This tension is surrounding the object of affection.

A fundamental and elementary definition of a leader is that you have people following you. So, it goes without saying that as a leader your followers will look to you for their guidance, direction, help, solutions to problems and a whole plethora of other things… if your leadership is in a ministry capacity your followers will look to you for spiritual direction, for counseling, and far too often rely on you to be the holder of that spoon which feeds them their spiritual food.

Now don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I think a leader should do all of those aforementioned things. I think that is a beautiful picture of leadership (especially when it is done well!). Where things go awry is when the ego becomes engaged.

Leadership in a ministry setting is tricky because when something goes crazy in an individual’s life they run to you (the spiritual advisor/pastor/friend) for the solution. And, if you take leadership seriously you will quickly understand that YOU don’t have any solutions. So what do you do? (Or perhaps I ought to say… what SHOULD you do?) …

…You point them to Jesus for the solution.

Jesus contains all authority. So if an individual truly listens to your advice and runs to Jesus for help, they will find all they were searching for and far more than they were anticipating. When their predicament is fixed, they naturally, humanly think that you helped them since you were the one that gave the advice. The ‘follower’ thinks YOU are amazing because they think YOU helped them. When the reality is that JESUS was and is and will always be the helper. You did nothing; don’t be arrogant enough to believe you did it! Our job is to do nothing more than point them to THE ONE. Get it?

They may tell their friends that YOU did a good job in helping their spiritual life… they may even bring their friends to you for help. It is fantastic that they bring their friends to you, so long as you bring their friend to Jesus, because He is the only one that will help them.

Your victory was not (is not) in helping them, but in your ability to point them to Jesus.

Sometimes, too often, people miss that. I see far too often people thanking Pastors alone for their incredible message, or only the worship leader/band for the incredible worship (which is very kind of them, and I think pastors should be thanked for the hard work they poured into the message/worship/etc)… But, hear this… Far more than anything else, IT IS NOT ABOUT THE INDIVIDUAL UP FRONT! It is about the sender of that individual.

We are not called to work in such a way that brings the attention or praise to ourselves. In everything that we do we are to bring the praise to God. People thank the leader, which is kind of them (and I think appropriate) but at the end of the day we ALL need to thank God for His redemptive work through Jesus. That is what it is all about.

We are not called to receive the praise, we are called to bring the praise to God, there’s tension when that doesn’t happen.

Blessings

-kAt

Alberta and Ontario Differences...

2010-10-12T12:51:00.000-07:00

I have officially been in Ontario for 1 month, 2 days, 2 hours, and 11 minutes… okay, I approximated on the minutes, but I have been here for 1 month and 2 days!

One of the questions that I have been asked several times is something along the lines of “So, what are the biggest differences between West and Ontario?” (and/or any variation of that question).

So, this is a list of the biggest differences that I have noticed.

1. It would be wrong for me to start this list with ANYTHING BUT the fact that milk is bought in bags in here. This is without question the oddest oddity about Ontario. I was so confused when I first got here where the milk was that I didn’t know what to do! I have come to appreciate milk in bags, in fact, if you were to ask me which ones tastes better… I would have to admit that I think that milk tastes fresher in the bags. But that’s beside the point… It’s weird having milk in bags. Feels fragile.
2. People here actually think that the Toronto Maple Leafs are a good team! Out West it is regular for a person that claims to be a TML fan to be mocked… but here, that’s the majority opinion! Such a large group of people so misled to believe that they ‘actually have a chance this year!’ Although, I have to be fair… It would be ignorant of me to ignore the fact they have looked very sharp the first two games of the year, and if I could quote a friend that is a TML fan, ‘they will be able to cheer longer this year!’ … my response to that is… of course you can cheer longer, probably two games longer this season before they are mathematically eliminated. And if I could quote another friend… The Oilers and Maple Leafs have both started well, but we both know they are going nowhere. Regardless, at the end of the day… GO CANUCKS GO!
3. In my 21 years of life I have never seen a more beautiful autumn than this fall. WOW! Ontario you sure know how to have a beautiful fall! The colors are simply spectacular – breathtaking – to say the least. There are no falls in Calgary like the one I have experienced here… in fact there is no fall really at all in Calgary - it snowed there the second week of September! (But to be fair, I must say that it was also in the mid 20’s there last week).
4. Lakes! I grew up in British Columbia so lakes are a regular sighting for me, but there are NO lakes at all like Ontario has in Alberta. In Calgary, the closest natural lake to drive to is over an hour away… and everyone in South-Central Alberta goes there, so it’s chaotic and busy! The water system here is absolutely incredible! I think to make up for a lack of lakes in Alberta, God gave them the Rocky Mountains (which are magnificent!).
5. Ontario weather = Consistent.
Alberta weather = Don’t like it? Wait five minutes…
Ontario weather is actually consistent with how weather should be this time of year. Weather in Alberta is sporadic and inconsistent (to put it nicely!) Like I said before, it snowed there week 2 of September, and a week and a half later is was 26 degrees C… What is with that! Here it is nice and consistent!
6. I was visiting some family in Brockville and I chose to take the long way home, I drove along the 2 highway for the majority of the way, and I noticed that every small town along the way has a Division St, Ontario St, King St (which is typically the #2 highway). Which is neat, there aren’t the same road names in every small town Alberta.
7. I have noticed that speed limits are typically ten km/h lower here than in Alberta. For example, the major highway in Calgary is called the Deerfoot; the speed limit on that road is 110 km/h… Whereas here, the speed limit on the 401 is 100 km/h. Does that make Ontario people more patient? Or reckless drivers so they have to have a lower speed limit… I’m not sure!

There are many more difference I could mention, these are the main seven that I have noticed so far… but the cool thing is that at the end of the day as many differences that there are, there is one similarity between Alberta, British Columbia, and now Ontario… They truly all do feel like home.

Blessings my friends,

-kAt

What it is all about...

2010-09-16T11:02:00.001-07:00

It has never been about what you think you have to offer.

It really does not matter how talented you are, how rich you are, how generous you are, or how beautiful you are... what really matters is being able to say 'Here I am, and I am willing to do your will God.' Please do not get me wrong, being very talented (in any area, whether that be sports, academics, creativity, etc...), being generous, and any other physical capability are very good things and God desire us to use those for His kingdom. I believe far too often we buy the lie that those are our offerings and those are our sacrifices to God. That if we give ten percent of our income, or if we play for His glory, or if we use our creativity for Him that is all that is required of us... and that is where we get caught in a tricky lie.

Time and again as you read throughout the Bible we see this idea of physical gifts is not what God requires. Well what does He require? Here are three quick passages that tell us...

>We see in Amos 5 that God did not want sacrifices so much as He wants righteousness. Actions without a sincere heart that desires to worship, follow, serve, and be obedient to God has no significant meaning.

>We see in Isaiah 1 that God has more than enough burnt offerings (well I know that the majority of you are not practicing burnt offerings...so maybe substitute some physical thing that you 'give' to God), He has enough of our measly offerings... What does God want? He wants us to do what is right, to seek justice, to seek His face, to love those around us passionately.

>We see in Hebrews 10 that God does not want someone to say I will give you this... He wants someone that will say 'Here I am, to do your will.'

Do you think you have something to offer God? Or, are you willing to simply say, whatever you require of me, I am here to do your will? Check your motives.

-kAt

2010-06-03T23:12:00.000-07:00

You learn a lot about yourself when you become the minority. . .

Words to describe a land.

2010-06-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

The Minarets, the mosques, the keffiyahs, The niqabs, the hijabs, the soldiers, the call to prayer, the idolatry, the imperialism, the fear, the hatred, the anger, the pita, the hummus, the heat, the desert, the dust, the garbage, the lack of trust, the needs and the wants, the coffee, the lies, the rituals, the wall, the guns, the conflict, the religion, the hospitality, the chaos, the beauty, the ruins, the confusion, the history, the politics, the hurt, the tangible and obvious joy...

... The Middle East

It is a Beautiful Catastrophe...

2010-05-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

(The Festival of Shavuot)

The Old City of Jerusalem is an incredible and fascinating place. For those of you that do not know what I mean, let me explain it to you. When you read in the Bible and historical books you read of a Jerusalem (for example, where David brought the Ark of the Covenant, where Jesus did some of His earthly ministry, what Rome destroyed 66-70 A.D.). But nowadays when you turn on the T.V. you hear about a city called Jerusalem as well. These are one and the same. Though Jerusalem right now is a modern city, much like Calgary in every way. From public transit, shopping malls, soccer stadiums and hospitals. But the kicker is the Jerusalem that you read in the bible still has its roots amongst this modern city. While it has been built over in many ways, the walls have been preserved (in the very least from Crusader times) and though the city that used to exist has been built over, you can still see some remnants of what used to exist. So in the heart of Jerusalem lies an ancient gem, what is known as the Old City of Jerusalem. This is a brief and surface level explanation of what the Old City is.

I have seen and experienced in-depth and into great detail this Old City. I have walked the streets several times, I have seen the "have to see" sites that the Old City offers, ate in the restaurants, talked with some local Jews and shopkeepers. I have been here with some of the best academics, tour guides, and teachers that the 'Holy Land' has to offer. In fact just yesterday myself and Luke came down to the Old City (via the Palestinian bus) just to walk the streets of the Old City for a couple of hours because we love the place, the culture, the feel of the city, and the people.

And let me tell you...

I can't even begin to describe the impact that this place has had on me. Theologically and Biblically this place has opened my eyes to many things I was previously completely unaware of. But simply as a human this place has really hit me.

When I see this land and these people I cannot help but think that this place is a beautiful catastrophe. Beautiful in that the multiculturality of this place(it is a word, just Microsoft says no) is so obvious and so beautiful. Within 100 metres here you have three of the 'holiest' sites on earth... there is the Western Wall for Jews, The Dome of the Rock for Muslims, and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre for Christians (where Jesus was crucified and buried).

But this place is tremendously ugly and catastrophic because SO much of what goes on down here in the name of religion is such a far cry from what God calls us to. This morning (4:00 wake up) I went to the Western Wall for Shavuot, which is the celebration for Jews when God gave Moses the Torah (it's one of the three biggest days of the year for these people. Actually, this is the festival that the disciples were celebrating when the Holy Spirit came upon them in Acts 2) and there were probably around 10,000 Jews there. I couldn't help but realize the true meaning of many of Jesus' words as I looked around at the Jews. People were praying loudly, praying in public, dressing to get attention, carrying huge phylacteries to show how 'spiritual' they are, doing these routines so that everyone sees them (and the list goes on)... I go to the Dome of the Rock where there are Muslims reciting Qur'an, being in their Qur'an studies, and doing their call to prayer five times a day... all to their god.

There is so much religion here, but so little relationship with God. It's heartbreaking. The landscape of Jerusalem is beautiful, the cultural here is heart breaking... and I haven't even touched on the political reality of this land, and that is the real kicker. This place is so much more complex and complicated than I could have ever imagined at the beginning of my trip.

The more I have come to know, the more I realize I really don't know anything, that's the true adventure I suppose!

Hope you are all well,

-kAt

Rooftop Thoughts from Jerusalem

2010-05-19T04:32:00.000-07:00

It is a beautiful thing… I am lounging on the roof of Tantur Ecumenical Institution sitting in the well over thirty degree Jerusalem heat at a loss for words of the incredible panoramic view that lies 360 degrees around me.

The Biblical history that surrounds me right now is in many ways overwhelming, certainly beyond my comprehension. If I were able to travel back through the pages of history in the exact location I currently am in I would see some of the most amazing things that have ever taken place on planet earth.

Directly in front of me is Bethlehem (no more than a five minute walk), behind me is the Old City of Jerusalem, and all around me is the desert that is so often referred to in the Bible. If I had this time traveling machine I would be able to see the shepherds being greeted by the angels on the hills directly in front of me (Luke2:8-20), I would be able to see on one of the many hills in front of me a scared, recently widowed, and loving Ruth gleaning the fields of Boaz (Ruth 2:1-23), I would be able to see the hectic busyness of Bethlehem because of Caesar Augustus’ issued decree, I would see many faithful Jews returning to their home town, I would see Mary and Joseph travel across this very hill-laden land as Mary was having her contractions, about to give birth to the saviour of the world, I would see a terrified Abraham as he traveled to the current location of the Dome of the Rock to Rock to obediently sacrifice his son Isaac (Genesis 22). I would see the Israelites under David’s guidance take the Ark of the Covenant to the Old City of Jerusalem, I would see Jesus walk these hills with His disciples as He taught them, I would see Amos walk nervously from Tekoa (just on the far side of Bethlehem) to deliver a message that God had given him, I could see all of the events that take place on the Mount of Olives, and I could see King David as he stayed back in Jerusalem while his army went past here to go to war (this is what led to his tragic moral failure with Bathsheba). This is I would see many, many other biblical events. While I cannot see all of these places clearly, I can definitely see all of these locations with a good set of binoculars (there general region invisible)...

That’s the Biblical history, but what about the more recent history?

Directly in front of me is a thirty foot wall that serves as a constant reminder to the Palestinians that they are not wanted, appreciated, liked or cared for at all in Israel. That “their kind of people” are to stick in Bethlehem. If any Palestinians want to get into Jerusalem they have to go through a jail of a system, through barbed wire and chain link fence just to step foot into a city that is literally ten feet away. A heartbreaking reminder of what happens when people reject Jesus and live according to their own plans. If I were here only a few years ago I would literally have people all around me (on this very rooftop, no lie) with machine guns, sniper rifles, grenades and other weapons of murder as bombs flew over my head.

My central location between Jerusalem and Israel is at the very heart of so many pivotal events in history (both biblical and politically) it really is wild to think that I am sitting right here, right now in peace and security at the very heart of so much world political and religious history.

It is a crazy region of the world, but one loaded with so much history... More will be coming!

-kAt

Next up - Jordan!

2010-05-19T03:45:00.001-07:00

(that is me with the Monastery at Petra behind me)
(that is me sticking my feet in the Jordan River)

I had been extremely excited to visit Jordan from the moment I found out I would be going there. I had heard nothing but incredible things about this country and knew going in that it was going to be an amazing experience. There are some beautiful sites to be seen in this nation, that is for sure! Of course many people through the Indiana Jones movie (The Last Crusade) had heard of Petra, and then there is Jerash, and many, many other sites that I was looking forward to experiencing. But again as this trip has the tendency to do,it completely blew what I was expecting way out of the water.

So for the same reason that I did my Syria entry point form, I will be doing my Jordan one the same way. Point form, otherwise I would be writing a full-on novel.

- Bethany beyond the Jordan... According to most scholars (as of late) this is the most likely location of Jesus' baptism (John 2)
- The location of Mark 8
- Pella, a town (used to be part of the Decapolis) that many Jews ran to during the destruction of Jerusalem in 66-70
- Jerash, some absolutely incredible Roman ruins are here, another town of the Decapolis
- The Citadel in Amman, found here is what used to be a temple of Zeuss, a museum (where some dead sea scrolls are), incredible view of the city of Amman, and this is what used to be known as Philadelphia.
- Mount Nebo, the location Moses was taken to so that he could see the Promised Land (Deuteronomy 34)
- Maecherus, The location of a Herodian fortress overlooking the Dead Sea. It is here that on Herod's birthday he was so pleased by a dance from Herodias' daughter that he promised her anything she wanted... and hence this is the place of John the Baptist beheading.
- Madaba, the capital of Mosaics. Absolutely incredible. Here also, is the oldest map of Jerusalem (it's a mosaic) and so far it is so historically accurate that they can make archaeological digs based on what this mosaic map says.
- Wadi Rum Desert
- Mount Ur, the place that Aaron (Moses' brother) was buried
- Petra
- Watermelon in Jordan... for anyone who has ever had Watermelon in Jordan you know that this is completely worth mentioning. It is absolutely unbelievable how delicious the watermelon in Jordan is.

The coolest experience so far has been all that took place in the Wadi Rum desert! Without a question! When we first pulled up to the desert we were told to load up all of our bags into one haggard looking truck and to pile into the beds of all the other trucks (there were seats...kinda). Once we were all in the back of these seats
the trucks tore off into the desert. We really got there at the perfect time because as we were taking off into the desert sand (which is the most incredible colour of red you could imagine) the sun was just beginning to set. As the sun set over the red mountains, the red sand and our trucks we tore by camels, bedouin tents, and the most incredible views of this picturesque desert you could imagine. As the trucks pulled up to a Bedouin encampment we were told that is where we were staying for the night - it was so cool! We all had our own two person tent-type structures to sleep in for the night in the middle of the desert. So we settled in to our camp and once that was all completed were invited into the communal tent structure (thing) to have the best tea I have ever had and we just lounged out. It was the most incredible way to end a day. Lounging around a campfire, having amazing tea with some great people. Not to mention the perfect sense of peace you have in the desert. There was no sound pollution, no noise pollution whatsoever, and nobody else around me except for the group I am with, and I like the group, so that helps!

After staring at the most amazing starscape (not landscape, but starscape... I came up with that on my own, impressed?) I have ever seen I went to bed. It was a pretty neat thought that the very stars I was staring at while I laid on the wadi rum desert floor were the exact same ones that I have stared at while laying on the docks at Eagle Bay Camp, my home, a certain Cochrane field and other places all around Canada. We as humans really are so small compared to the world that we live in.

The next morning we woke up and had some breakfast (again, the tea was amazing!!!) and we took off, but not in the direction back to the nearest city as I would have thought but out into the desert some more! We went for a couple hour trek through the Wadi Rum! It was amazing! We stopped at this archway that was probably a hundred feet up, of course I climbed up it (I am kind of climbing everything I can), we stopped at a sand dune which a handful of us ran up just so we could run down at (what may be literally) breakneck speed. We stopped at this HUGE canyon, which again, I climbed way too far... it was legit scary trying to get down, my adrenaline was going pumping SO hard. And we drove past a lot more camels, some pretty amazing mountains, some other Bedouin places. It was the most incredible start to a morning you could imagine!

I think it is pretty obvious why staying in the Wadi Rum for a night was incredible. I just talked about all of the physical things that were cool, I did not even mention the amazing spiritual things that the desert represents (on purpose, that's coming up when I talk about Israel, I'm continuing on this idea of desert spirituality later on!)

I could also write a book about Petra but I will save you the time. But Petra is one of the seven modern wonders of the world, and it is very clear why! This place is absolutely incredible. The Nabateans carved a village literally into mountains. From graves, houses, monasteries, treasuries and everything else they need, it was all carved into mountains. Google image Petra, you'll see exactly what I am talking about!

Much love friends,

-kAt

Where in the world is Kyle Alexander? (Syria!)

2010-05-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

Eighteen days ago I had no idea what I was about to embark on. I knew that I was having the amazing opportunity to experience Syria, Jordan and Israel for the next five weeks. But I had no idea the way in which this would happen, the amazing things I would experience, the challenging things I would see and have to wrestle through, and the biblical/political history I would be thrust into. I must admit that the last eighteen days have been a total and complete hurricane. I have been inundated with information, dates, historical events, political statements and spiritually challenging thoughts, and religious history. If it wasn’t for journalling I would have lots way too many of these things because no human can retain all that has been pushed onto my plate the last few weeks… But what an amazing adventure I am able to be on! I am so thankful, so blessed, and still so very surprised that I am where I am right now.

I must admit that Syria completely rocked my world. When you think of Syria what would you expect to see? I was expecting a desert wasteland as far as the eye could see… And while part of Syria’s landscape is certainly desert wasteland (they have the Syrian desert) there is so much more than that. There are snow covered caps, there are lush, lush forested regions, there are rock deserts, there are rivers, there are rolling hills that would make Kentucky jealous, there are olive trees as far as your little eyes could take your vision, there are the most loving, kind and hospital people you have ever encountered. The Biblical history is rich in Syria, the Islamic tradition has many routes in Syria, and our own Christian history is far, far beyond what I had expected to see in this land.

I spent one week in Syria and instead of writing about everything that we had the opportunity to do (because that would be several, several hours of writing) I will just put down in point form the things I was able to see… If you have any questions about anything I saw I have absolutely no problem talking to you about it… But if it were me trying to read someone else’s blog I would be far too intimidated by a blog that went on forever, I would much rather just get the short and to the point facts… so here are the incredible things I was able to experience in Syria:
-Had a discussion with the Mufti of Damascus about Islam/Christianity, a “spiritual discussion between East and West on Contemporary Human Problems.”
- Went to the Sheik’s house after the discussion. It turned out to be a several hour time of just having community with our Muslim friends from Damascus… Amazing night!
- Musee National – an incredible museum with artifacts from all time periods and civilizations
- The Souk – a RIDICULOUS shopping strip in Damascus
- Umayyad Mosque – A huge mosque at the heart of Damascus. Also, I saw the shrine where John the Baptist’s head is kept (so they claim).
- Salahuddin’s Grave – the Muslim hero (he defeated the crusaders) grave
- Azem Palace – A palace right next to the Umayyad Mosque
- The House of Annanias – To commemorate Annanias’ bravery for praying over St. Paul
- Straight Street - Acts 9
- St. Paul’s Church – A Church to commemorate his escape from the walls of Damascus
- Ma’aloula - the only city where Jesus’ language, Aramaic is still spoken as a primary language
- St. Serge and Bacchus’ Convent
- St. Theckla’s Divide – Where an amazing story (we read about it outside the canon) of an early Christian saint, and the first female convert of Paul’s miraculous escape from evil pagan sorcerers.
- The Krak Deschevalier – An incredible castle the Crusaders were involved with (here is where I had the most ridiculous fan club of about thirty boys)
- Salahuddin’s Castle (built into a mountain)
- The site where St. Simeon the Stylite lived on top of stylite for his escape to ascetism
- Church of the Forty Martyrs – The church dedicated to an amazing group of early Christian martyrs, what a powerful story this is (ask me about it, if you are curious!)
- The Citadel in Allepo – Another castle, but from Salahuddin’s son
- Palmyra – INCREDIBLE Roman Ruins (including a Temple dedicated to Baal)
- Monastery of Moses – Desert Spirituality
- Bagdad Café – it was talked about in National Geographic
- The place commemorating (believed to be)where Paul saw Jesus on the road to Damascus

I think I will talk about my very favourite part of this trip… and that is all wrapped up under the idea of desert spirituality. Both the Monastery of Moses and the place of Simeon the Stylite have direct relations to desert spirituality. First, the crazy, crazy man Saint Simeon the Stylite. He grew up in a Christian home and at the age of 13 he developed an intense zeal or passion for following Christianity with all that he was. For him, to be a Christian meant denying anything other than Jesus, and for him it was such a strong conviction (almost a compulsion) that it drove him to do some very wild things. When he was still a young man (before 16 years old, most likely) he decided to fully embrace the monastic lifestyle and went to live in a monastery. He denied his body foot (he went all of lent without eating or drinking, which many considered a miracle), he fasted, he committed to standing for long periods of time so that his feet were swollen and badly injured, he would tie things around himself so tightly that it would cut himself, and eventually he decided he would deny himself everything but the very basics. So he went to live in a narrow space, Simeon went to live in a narrow mountain crevice/room. But so many people heard of what Simeon was doing and they sought him out for wisdom/counsel as he lived in this mountain that he decided he would live atop a pillar. And that is what this site was all about, it was the place that this pillar he lived on was, and part of his pillar is still there.

Secondly was the Monastery of Moses. This was a monastery in the middle of the Syrian Desert nestled in the heart of some Syrian mountains. This monastery’s purpose (to this day) is for people to escape from the madness and craziness of everyday life, from the chaos, confusion, hectic pace of life and to retreat to, well, essentially nothing. This is a monastery that mimics the example Jesus laid out for His believers when He went to the mountains, hills, and deserts and prayed to God, fasted, and lived a simple life… Also what John the Baptist did, Elijah, David, etc…

This whole idea of desert spirituality is so challenging for me because I am such a “go-go-go” type person. I am always on the move, always running around, always busy… and in many ways that is how I thrive. But how often do I truly retreat from the madness and busyness of my life and just be still, silent and quiet before my God? Rarely! It is something I need to work on, something I need to be challenged to do (and have been lately by some special people in my life) and something I need to continually strive for, always. I bought a postcard from this place to keep in my Bible as a continual reminder that as I read my Bible I ought to be still, silent and quiet before God…. Something that is always difficult for me to do, but something that I am (and you are!) biblically commanded to do. Now do not worry, I am not going to go all Simeon the Stylite on you, I have no plans to live atop a pillar, for me, that is not my style. But I do need to do a better job of retreating from the madness of my world and dwelling in the calming and peaceful presence of my God.

One more thing that was completely eye-opening for me while being in Syria was that for the very first time I heard the call to prayer. I had never heard it before nor had I experienced the commanding presence that the call demands. On a purely musical level I think that it is beautiful. And on a religious level I love how religiously people adhere to the call to prayer. No matter where they are, what they are doing or anything else they will stop and pray when the call goes off. But in many ways it completely broke my heart and I made a point to pray to MY God for the Muslims as they prayed to their god. As you drive through Syria (and Jordan, and Israel even) no matter where you are at any point at any time of day you can point out a minaret. I think they are beautiful in creation and idea, but it was heartbreaking for me to see just how lost and confused these people are. In many ways they are not so far off, much of what they hold and adhere to is very Biblical… but they are one step off and that is the revelation of who Jesus is… Much like Saul of Tarsus, they are so close to the truth, but they are ONE step off and that step makes all the difference. The people I met in Syria so desperately and badly need Jesus.

But, at the end of my time there I can stand back and say that I absolutely LOVE Syria. I had an amazing time being in community with our Muslim friends at the Sheik’s house, and I had a pretty hilarious encounter with the thirty boys from Allepo at the top of the Crac Deschevalier. I love the Syrian culture and landscape and people.

Much love friends,

-kAt

Where in the world is Kyle Alexander? (London, England)

2010-05-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

We flew out of Calgary and landed in the world-class Heathrow Airport in London. We had an eleven hour layover so we were able to run into London for a little bit where I was able to see and experience many of the famous things that make London, London. I saw Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, the London Eye, the Parliament Buildings, the Thames River (and the crazy culture that runs alongside it), Tate Modern Museum, London Bridge, Trafalger Square, Downing Street, St. Paul’s Cathedral (and went to evensong there), I experienced the tube (Any of you that have had the experience know what I mean when I say “please mind the gap”), and of course I had to go for fish and chips at an authentic London pub! It was a crazy couple of hours but an incredible one. It was a hectic couple of hours but they were amazing! I got to see a lot of things I had only heard about or been told about!

After the madness of running around London we left for Damascus at 11 o’clock at night and did not arrive in Syria until 4 in the morning. Wow! Tiring. Three continents in 24 hours… pretty nuts!

-kAt

... And I'm off!

2010-04-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

Hey friends!

Today I leave for an amazing adventure! In a few short hours I will be flying over the Atlantic Ocean (for the first time) to embark on a five week trip where I will be in Jordan, Syria and Israel! I am going to the Holy Land and will be seeing the places that the events that we read about in the Bible took place and see where our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, lived, walked and did His ministry. I will be trying to keep you all updated as much as possible through this and facebook! I am so, so excited for this trip and cannot wait to see what I will be able to see and learn a lot of new things!

God bless and take care!

-kAt.

This Defines Your Life... (copied from my other blog)

2010-04-01T00:06:00.000-07:00

It is the Easter season and it seems a natural thing to reflect on the power and importance of this weekend... It seems to me that no matter who you are that what you believe about this weekend radically changes the way you live your life.

This weekend has radically shifted the entirety of history. I am not even making that statement as a Christ follower (though I certainly am that). No matter who you are you have to admit that this weekend, Easter weekend, has shifted the very course of history and the future in ways that we will never fully understand.

The reality is that whether you are Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Christian or Atheist this weekend completely defines the way you live your life.

You are either living your life for Jesus or you are not. If you live your life for Jesus it would be because you admit and accept that He died on the cross for you and was risen again by the power of God three days later. If you are not living your life for Jesus you would admit that you do not believe Jesus is the Son of God and that He did not rise from the grave three days after He was brutally killed on the Cross.

Easter weekend defines the way you live your life...

Are you living your life striving to be the best follower of Jesus knowing that He went through the most brutal of deaths so that you may live in right relationship with the Father?

... I say this often and I will say it again here in closing. I refuse to believe that when we die and stand before Jesus, with the holes in His hands, would be glorified and honoured by His followers living mediocre and ordinary lives. The empty grave ought to be a compelling and motivating factor to the point that there is a noticeable reality in the way we live our lives.

He is Risen,

-kAt

Riddle me this ...

2010-03-31T13:27:00.000-07:00

If Jesus is truly dead how do you possibly justify the fact that 3,000 people decided to follow Him just weeks after the resurrection. These were the people that would have seen Jesus' life, they would have seen Him die, and there is a very large chance they would have seen Jesus after He resurrected... If they personally did not see Him they would have known someone who had, guaranteed. They lived in a city that was buzzing with news of Jesus... If Jesus had NOT truly been resurrected everyone would have known it, it would have been disproved immediately and the buzz about Jesus would have died, even Judas the Galilean acknowledges this reality in Acts 6.

These three thousand individuals were not stupid, naive, or brainwashed, they were just an ordinary crowd in Jerusalem. They would have been people just like you and I. If I had someone preaching to me that Jesus had risen again I would go and ask my cousins, neighbours, friends, coworkers to see if they had heard or seen anything, and in all likelihood at least one of them would have either seen Jesus or knew someone who had seen Him post-resurrection, or not. Jesus walked on earth for forty days after His resurrection (Acts 1:3) which is enough time for many people to have seen Him.

If He had not risen from death there is NO WAY three thousand individuals would decide to follow "The Way" (what followers of Jesus were called before they were known as Christians). To follow The Way meant you would certainly be ostracized, you would have been cutting yourself off from the culture you had known your entire life and even risked death. Persecutions were rampant, Christians were killed for following Jesus, and if not killed certainly imprisoned or scorned. Thousands of individuals would never willingly choose that lifestyle if they had not been one hundred percent certain of Jesus' resurrection and Kingship.

So, again, riddle me this... If Jesus was dead, why would so many choose to follow Him immediately after His resurrection?

-kAt

Best Beatboxer You Have Seen!

2010-03-23T19:16:00.000-07:00

World's Best Beatboxer

That is one of my friends beatboxing! Check out his video, vote it five stars because it is obviously incredible, favourite it and then continue to share it! If he wins he can get $250,000 dollars and that is incredible! He is a gifted beatboxer to say the least!

Share the love everyone!

-kAt

Closing Ceremonies To The Games

2010-03-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

And Andrew Allen performing 'Amazing'
Hint, CLICK THAT^

Not too often do you get to see two friends on nationwide T.V!

Last night I had the privilege of seeing both Andrew Allen (perform his song 'Amazing' and it certainly was that!) and Nick Brush (who had the chance to Ski as a guide in the Paralympic games!) on nationwide television. Pretty cool! Ps. Nick is the guy in the front of the picture waving a flag and you can click on the "Andrew Allen performing 'Amazing'" to see Andrew's performance!

Blessings,

-kAt

LYC!

2010-03-19T00:29:00.000-07:00

My musical family for the past year... Top row is Erin, Kevin, Mike... Front row is Evan, Scott and me!

Me and Kev sticking our feet up in the air!

The band playing!

First off, I basically copied this perfectly from my Program Ambassador blog, but I wanted to share with everyone my LYC experiences... So here it is!

--------

Every year our school puts on a weekend youth conference called Legacy Youth Conference for hundreds of youth from all across Canada. This conference is run from a core group of 15-20 student leaders that are on a team called CPT (Central Planning Team). Each member on CPT has their own specialty area from business, entertainment, atmosphere, registration and many others. I was very fortunate and blessed to be on this team this past year working with Erin Tjart and D'arcy Watsham in the areas of rallies and worship leading. The three of us have been planning the rallies and the worship for this conference for hours every week since last April. Two weeks ago today this conference took place and before we knew it the conference was all over! It is hard for me to believe that it has already come to a close! After countless hours of work, planning, dreaming and envisioning what this conference could be the reality that it is over is an interesting pill to swallow!

The actual weekend was a truly amazing experience. I had many opportunities over the weekend to just sit back and watch the hundreds of kids from all over Canada (and the USA) enjoy the conference. It was amazing to see so many hours of planning come to full fruition and see God do His work in the lives of those that were at Ambrose that weekend. A lot of truly cool things took place where God spoke into the hearts of the youth, youth leaders, youth pastors, Ambrose students and everyone else that was at the conference. I was so blessed to not only be one member of the team that helped shape and form the rallies but to be a leader on the worship team. The rallies were powerful times where God spoke through our speaker, Ryan Graham, and did a lot of soul work on the people there. I was able to see the hours and hours of frustration, joys, laughter and tears come together just the way God planned it... The conference that God wanted took place just the way He wanted it and I am so humbled that I had the chance to be involved!

Some of my favourite moments of the weekend were:

- Leading worship

- Seeing the creative ideas for the rallies come together and God use them for changing the lives of the people that partook of them

- The band's involvement with the youth from Catalyst youth group (Jon Morrison's youth group) and when I was given one of the cork's from their celebratory sparkling apple juice

- Being able to connect and play guitar with various students over the weekend

- Talking with youth leaders and youth pastors from all around Canada and being able to share the chord charts with the music we played so that they could take it home with them to their churches.

- Seeing all of CPT do just what they were most passionate about and do a great job of executing their areas to a high level!

- Being able to feel the support of the prayer team and other teams that greatly encouraged myself and those I was working with

- I loved being able to teach two seminar's on the heart of worship with Scott Cyr!

- Entertainment night was amazing, the "Lols" were flowing!

- The Riot on Friday night was an amazing opportunity to meet with many students and be ridiculous playing the various games. My favourite was the tiger tug of war type game!

- The extended worship on Sunday night was so freeing because I realized that the conference had come to full fruition and seeing everyone just worship unhindered and completely free praising Jesus. It was powerful. And very beautiful.

LYC was a truly amazing experience, thanks to everyone that was involved! Now it is time for me to continue in my efforts of catching up on sleep and the homework that was put on the backburner for the last month!

Blessings friends!

-kAt

What is better than one blog? TWO BLOGS!

2010-01-30T14:16:00.000-08:00

Hey friends,

As program ambassador at Ambrose one of the responsibilities I have is to blog about my time and experience at Ambrose as a student. I have another blog that I will likely write an entry in a couple of times a month and if you feel so inclined you can check that one out too!

I know I already had a post about my second blog, but the location has changed, thus calling for this new blog entry here.

CLICK ON ME!

That's it! Hope you're well,

-kAt

This year is a canvas

2009-12-31T01:28:00.000-08:00

This year is a canvas and you are the painter. Let me be nothing more than the paint that you choose to paint something beautiful with.

I have no idea what this year will entail, where it will bring me, what will happen, what adventures I may embark on or where I will go. However, what I do know is that one year from now when I look back upon the previous 365 days that the definitive words will not be mediocre, boring or lackluster. You have incredible plans for the entirety of my life, of that I am sure, but what those plans are I am left optimistically wondering. I have lived an incredible life so far, received so much more than I come close to deserving and for that I am truly left in awe... but what will this year bring?

Again, I do not know. All I know is I follow a God that knows all things, He alone is my compass, He alone is my guidance. I cannot wait to live everyday, it truly is an adventure that is unrivaled by the things this world has to offer me. Wealth, fame, popularity and everything else painfully fails in comparison to the life that is made available to me through obedience to the one that created me.

This year will bring opportunities I cannot even begin to fathom, this year will bring things my way that I have never dreamed of happening and this year will bring new challenges and struggles that I feel so inadequate to deal with. But I know that in all things you are bigger and you are stronger and you alone will be the rock upon which I find my foundation to stand.

So, let it begin.

If I had anything in my hands to make a toast (the only thing in my near vicinity is an empty coke can, I feel as though that falls short of being toast-worthy) I would raise it and say:

Cheers to a new year friends, one full of adventure and excitement. We know not where we are going but we know who to follow to get us there. With every choice we make, every decision that will need deciding, may we find our source of direction in our Father alone.

-kAt

B.H.A.G!

2009-12-16T01:30:00.000-08:00

Big Hairy Audacious Goals.

Jim Collin's writes that we should all set big, hairy and audacious goals for ourselves, so I have set one for myself over the break.

My goals for the break are, and I apologize for another list, it's just the best way to organize my goals.

1) to spend as much time as possible with my family. Especially Zakk as he leaves for New Zealand in a month and a day. I want to hang out with them as much as possible.

2) To rest well and often.

3) Recuperate after a crazy semester! This is similar to the last, but there is a difference here.

4) Connect with friends in an authentic way.

5) Laugh often.

6) AND this is my BHAG. I want to read two books a week, and a variety of kinds of books, not just my usual spiritual development, ministry-oriented books. Read a lot! Which means less T.V. (except for of course the World Juniors), just less of the garbage that so often litters the channels. So far my list of books I want to read are:

Long Walk to Freedom - Nelson Mandela
Wide Awake - Erwin McManus
In the Company of Jesus - Bill Donahue
The Appeal - John Grisham
Habitudes - Dr. Tim Elmore
Left to Tell - Immaculee Ilibagiza
The Fisherman's Testament - Cesar Vidal
Paths of Glory - Jeffery Archer

That is a list longer than my actual break, I realize that... Those are just eight books that I have been meaning to read and so I put them here... Whether those are the books I read or not I know not, but that is my starting point.

Well, I'm off to read, gotta accomplish this BHAG,

Merry Christmas my friends,

-kyle.trigg

The greatest mentor currently walking on earth...

2009-12-16T01:09:00.000-08:00

The award of greatest mentor on earth is hands down going to my Dad. Seriously, I have been so beyond blessed to have him not only as a dad, but as a best friend and a mentor. I am so fortunate to be able to learn under him. I have dozens upon dozens of reasons why, and then some more on top of that to boot. For example, I'll share the latest lesson I learned from him just this past week.

For those who did not hear or see on the T.V. or newspaper there was a fire a few weeks ago in the neighborhood of Citadel where five houses burnt completely to the ground. The church my dad works at, Foothills Alliance Church (FAC), responded to this situation by giving financial aid, love and support to all the families affected to help (though in a situation like that, nothing can adequately compensate for the intense lossthose individuals are in) but FAC tried their best to help wherever they may. The owners of these houses had never come to Foothills before, but as my Dad said several times throughout that weekend's service, we care for our neighbours because that is what our church is about, loving those around us.

Anyways after the weekend service where Foothills said they would do whatever they could to help these people, CBC news heard what we were doing and wanted to interview someone at Foothills about what we were doing. It was Monday, my Dad's day off, and my Dad as the lead pastor was probably the best person to interview about it, but my Dad asked James, the associate lead pastor (and he's a beyond amazing man too!) to do the interview.

OKAY, here is the lesson I learned from Poppa Trigg. And first, I feel I should write, it's not wrong to be on T.V. at all. It's the lesson behind the story that I was impressed and taught by. I know for me, if I had the chance to be interviewed about something on a national broadcasting channel about something a church I worked for did to respond to a situation I would be so excited and jump at the opportunity! I could even attempt to justify it by saying I am being a visible face of the church loving those around us... but the truth is that it would likely be out of a hidden agenda, one of selfish ambition and perhaps conceit. So what did I learn?

1) I asked my Dad why he didn't want to go in for the interview and he said "you know when I was younger I would think that is a pretty incredible chance, but now I have realized there is more to it than that." He taught me that there is more than being a face in the media, that the point of ministry is not to be seen in the public spotlight and "popular." The point is to humbly serve, to love those around us not for attention but out of legitimate and authentic love for those around us. That we do not do things to be seen (sounds like the Pharisee's, in fact ironically enough right after this incident I read Matthew 23:5-7 and realized just how much my Dad was not about that.)

2) Instead of being interviewed, he decided to stay at home cleaning the house for my mom (her love language is gifts of service, cleaning the house is the way for my Dad to tell her he loves her). He chose to hang out with Zakk (my brother) and myself while cleaning the house. He taught me that though there are cool opportunities, know the real importance in your life. He exhibited in an obvious way his love for his family.

3) He showed me how to say no. The reality is there are so many 'cool' things to do, lots of things that would be fun, but we need to say no to things so that we may do the things that are more important. I am a people pleaser, I have a hard time saying no, but he showed me that it is okay to say no, and that we should say no, to the things that are important.

4) The most important thing I can ever do is just be faithful, obedient, humble, and be in a passionate pursuit of Jesus and the life that God has planned for me. I need not search out the 'cool' spotlight of fame and glory. It is all about being an invisible messenger of God, so that HE is FULLY visible.

5) I am so lucky to have him as a mentor and example in life.

Blessings friends :)

-kyle.trigg

Guilty Pleasure?

2009-12-16T01:06:00.000-08:00

I almost feel guilty right now, almost. But the truth is that I find pleasure in my current situation. I see littered throughout facebook friend's posts allllll about how many finals they have, how long they have studied and the counts/scores (ex. finals=1, me=0) lately. See I feel guilty because I know the pain they are suffering under, I see how much time they are investing in these finals. My pleasure is that I am essentially done. Ohhh yes, life is good.

For me to alleviate my guilt I just need to remember to two weeks ago when I had more papers due in a week than the number of days found there within. I was under the stress and anxiety and pain writing those papers at that time, and it was rough! But, now, I am home free, and that is a good feeling.

Friends happy studying, I suppose I will just read (and not text books) while watching movies, O.D.Ring (Out door rink) and relaxing. :)

Maintain your sanity, it's almost done you all!

-kyle.trigg

20 going on 78?

2009-12-01T01:28:00.000-08:00

I legitimately feel like an old man, and yes, I realize how ridiculous that may sound... But here is why.

My body, no lie, creaked and cracked and groaned far more than either the stairs I climbed up or the bed I jumped in. My knees were crack-a-lackin', my ankles sounded like they were being rolled by a rolling-pin, my back cracked, and my muscles feel as though I got hit by a bus.

So though I may appear to be a spry and supple young man... If you see Grandpa Joe on the street, he'd probably beat me in a fight.

Hope you're alive and well my friends, staying sane amongst the insanity of this time of year :)

-kyle.trigg

Idolatry.

2009-11-30T20:42:00.000-08:00

When I say Idol....

You think of what...?

Let me guess... when I say that *oldschool* word you think of golden calves, images and icons, statues, you say that it is Old Testament stuff like wooden creations made by man, a bygone and no longer a reality.

Yeah, I thought so.

The unfortunate reality is the majority of the world today still thinks of idols as being dead and a bygone of history. But how very dangerous that is. The truth is that idols are just as real today, just as destructive and leave us just as unsatisfied as the idols of Old Testament times. In fact, I would argue (and I have the support of many, many authors and scholars, people much smarter than I) that the idea of idolatry in today's world is far more rampant now than it has ever been in the past, and the underlying issues with idolatry are so very dangerous and present to all members in today's world. I believe it to be a necessity that this be brought into the light, the fact that our society we live in is guilty of placing our sole hope and trust into the many empty promises that these various idols we naively trust promises us.

First I feel as though it would be appropriate to identify by what I mean by "idol". I don't mean the latest singer on that T.V. show American Idol, I don't necessarily mean a celebrity, person or a statue. I mean (yes anything, even if we feel as though it may be a good thing) that we place our hope in to give us something that we desire other than God. It looks different for everyone, it is different for everyone... I touch on that near the end though. Just wait to get there my friend!

I know I am so "preachy" in my blog entries, I realize that, and for those of you that find that annoying, I am sorry. But with this entry I feel as though both Christian and non-Christian would do extremely well to read and in the very least ponder on what I'm saying. It's a hard lesson to see that our society has been pursuing and placing our trust in things that are empty, though we believe them to be our help in the current crises of our day. To prove my point I think the greatest example available is to take a glance back to our history to prove this point.

If the society of one hundred years ago were to look briefly at where we are now, I believe they would give us a HUGE standing ovation. They would applaud the fact that every child has an equal opportunity to a government-paid education, children are generally not forced to drop out of school prematurely to help support the family and the average income of a house is significantly higher than that which they are used to. The world of 100 years ago would be lost in that which we daily live. They would not recognize how we go about our daily activities as our technological advances would appear to be space-like to them... and they would likely see this as a good thing I believe that many of the luxuries we have that were not available one hundred years are an incredible blessing, but I am not convinced that we are better off than they were. Over the last 100 years our capabilities have skyrocketed (technologically speaking), which in many ways is a great thing! But in an equal ratio to this skyrocketing are the skyrocketing issues and problem we face. As our advances as a society increase, our problems do as well, you cannot deny this. That as we attempt to strive for a better life the way in which we try to accomplish this task is the source of all problems we have to deal with daily on a local and universal level.

As I mentioned before I believe there are underlying issues and problems that go deeper than just the idols we esteem. I think these underlying issues are based upon the ideologies we are taught and convinced to hold with high esteem. Meaning, I believe our society has instilled values in people to pursue and strive to meet certain standards to be "successful" people. This is where it gets dangerous. Some of these ideologies are things such as security, status, satisfaction or stability (S4). I think if you look at almost every one of the major problems in the world today they all stem from one of the aforementioned issues. People are taught to pursue these with all that they are, afterall that is the chief goal of mankind (a general term for humanity, not the sex).

This is when it becomes so dangerous. When we allow these end goals to become our gods. In our pursuit of S4 we unknowingly and unintentionally let our ideologies becomes our god, we become dependent on them. Being possessed by the end is what is incredible dangerous for all of humanity, that is when we are in danger of being controlled by what we have allowed to become a god, this is where we become idolaters.

In response to the pursuit of S4 we as society and individuals have two possible paths to choose between. The first path is that which involves our commitment to live our lives according to the biblical way. That is to live justly, to love our neighbours, to be good stewards of that which God has entrusted to us and that our goals will fall in obedience to what God’s goals for us are. The second path is that which is living in accordance to our own selfish, limited-perspective goals, the way that leads to the many social issues around the world.

We have been given the freedom to choose to follow the first path which would ultimately lead to the world God has created for us to live in, where we passionately pursue Jesus and not our own ambition, where we view everything through the lens of the cross.

However, as a whole we (I say we, because we are all tied together here on earth) have chosen to follow the second path. To pursue the building of our own kingdoms, not God's kingdom being built here on earth.

Take a look at the world around us... It is clear that we have chosen to follow this second path, we have chosen sin, disobedience to God, a willing walk away from the path we know we are supposed to be following. From Adam to now (with the exception of Jesus Christ), every human being has fallen, sinned and deliberately done what we know we ought not too. Because of our choosing this path, evil, suffering, and sin have entered the world. We as a society are now caught in this destructive life-style, trapped on this destructive pathway following false ideologies, worshiping false gods and living a life that leads to imminent death with pain, hurt, disgust and suffering as constant companions along the way. We have pursued the building and advancement of our own kingdom, but the ironic thing is that this is exactly what leads to our personal kingdoms demise. The one that we need for us to be salvaged and saved is the one along the other path, Jesus Christ.

We have got to appreciate and realize that ultimately it ALL comes down to following Jesus, He alone connects all the loose ends we see in the world. Without him, we are without hope, we are without life, without guidance and without anything that will help us accomplish the S4. Society has these which we all too often seek to satisfy internally on our own. But to accomplish this we need to walk the path, the thin, narrow path that leads to Jesus and is led by Jesus. Too often Jesus is not who we look to, we look to ourselves, and that is where we become idolaters and have false gods lead our way. When we allow the idols of our time to govern how we live, that is when we are led to our death. Only when Jesus is our navigation, only when we look to Jesus for our everything will we truly reach what we desire in our innermost self...

He is the only way we can ever achieve anything of value, Jesus is the only way we can reach what we truly are searching for... Because we are searching for Him. The false hope we place in so many things (which I have called idols up to this point) whether it be drinking, partying, sex, pornography, relationships or X (that generic valuable which changes for every individual, you know what your struggle here is) always leads to pain, brokenness and heartache, leaving a whole bigger than the one we were previously trying to fill.

In fact, when we do learn to pursue Jesus with our everything, the S4 which we thought we needed begins to fade in its former luster and importance and we realize that we don't need anything but Jesus. For He is the way, the truth and all source of life for us. He is all we need. I promise you on all that I am, He is everything.

Be blessed friends, find your fulfillment in Him alone,

-Kyle.Trigg

Let me use this in my life...

2009-11-24T19:58:00.000-08:00

Let me use disappointment as material for patience.
Let me use success as material for thankfulness.
Let me use trouble as material for perseverance.
Let me use danger as material for courage.
Let me use reproach as material for long suffering.
Let me use praise as material for humility.
Let me use pleasures as material for temperance.
Let me use pain as material for endurance.

-John Baillie

A Franciscan Benediction

2009-11-24T19:15:00.000-08:00

I figure if I am lacking the time necessary to write my own blogs I may as well steal writings from people far more intelligent than I that have blessed me... In hopes that these words may bless you as well.

May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the wrodl,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen.

Eh hee

2009-11-03T23:42:00.000-08:00

"Strange evolution, how people have come to believe,
we are its greatest achievement
when really,
we're just a collection of cells overrating ourselves"

- Dave Matthews Band

No Shave November

2009-11-02T00:38:00.000-08:00

Novembeards are here.

The best part is, I now have a justification for being greasy and unkept. In fact, I have an entire army of the same kind as me doing this and encouraging me along the way to keep the course!

It's gonna be fun.

It's all about this.

2009-10-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

It is so easy to get distracted from what really matters in life, isn’t it?

It is really quite simple to lose site of the one thing that matters and to drift towards the concerns of the world. For example, the culture in which we live offers us so many lenses in which to view our social status through. We can look at life through the lenses which judge our worth by how much (moola wise) we’re worth, or the fashion lenses (no not sunglasses) which, when looking through, we must compare ourselves to see if we have the latest and greatest “threads” on the street. There are the lenses which tell us we have to look like we have it all together, at all times, and anything less than this is far less than appropriate, acceptable or okay. Thousands of voices screaming at us daily saying “meet this standard,” “look like this model,” “act like this celebrity,” “buy this and oh yes, I promise you’ll be happier,”… Yeah, you know those sound familiar. And let’s be honest for a moment, we’ve all given in to these voices at some point, to some degree, maybe not one of the four examples I gave, but I know, and am willing to bet, at some point throughout your (who knows how many) years on life, you have given in to the tempting voice of our culture to satiate that desire to “fit.”

Please don’t think for a moment that I am speaking down to you. Trust me, I have done, and still do, and unfortunately (as I am human) will continue to fall for these stupid temptations over, and over again. I have tried the money game, the fame game, the clothing game, the sporting game, the popular game, and I have sucked at everyone of them, I have lost them all, not even been close to the king of any of them… BUT, I did learn one thing, they are all futile, they are all useless, they lead to nothing but complete emptiness.

The more I have attempted to view myself through the eyes of the world, the more I have come to a realization of one thing, which is, it leads to nothing. I need to view myself through the lens of the cross.

A professor at my school spoke in chapel last week about how everything we do must be centred on the cross. For chapel, he placed a cross directly in front of himself, at the front of the stage. It was a little uncharacteristic of an Ambrose chapel speaker to have a cross directly in front of him, in fact, to be honest it was a little intrusive to his personal space, but isn’t that just the point? That the cross should be at the very forefront of our minds so that no matter what we do, we say, or anything we see, the cross should be at the very front of that, before that? (I unfortunately due to feeling ill wasn’t at the chapel, so all of that was relayed to me by friends who were there)

When we look at ourselves we must see ourselves through the eyes of Christ, the eyes of the man who gave His very life to forgive us, to be in relationship with us, to have us follow Him. We have got to! When we try to judge our value, we must use the cross as the weigh scale, in that if it doesn’t line up, hold to, and work with the cross, it’s not worth having in our lives. If what we’re focusing on isn’t focused (in some way or another) the message of the cross, I sometimes wonder is it truly worth out time? I’m not saying everything else is bad, far from it, "for physical training is of some value", what I’m trying to say is that we must remember that our number one priority has absolutely got to be the cross. If other things are hindering the cross from being our central focus, if other things are blocking our eyes view on the cross, if things are in the way at all, they have got to be dealt with.

First and foremost, above all else lies the message of the cross. When we look at ourselves we have got to see the body that Christ died on the cross to save, when we look at friends, when we look at enemies, when we do our homework, when we work, when we play, when we lay down to go to sleep, we must keep at the forefront of our minds the cross.

-kyle.trigg

The Search

2009-10-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

Something I found on my computer from years and years and years ago. Thought I'd share it

The Search

He searches, searches in vain
Willing to do everything but surrender
He is too wrapped up in the world to abandon it
But that is exactly what he needs to do.
So he searches, but he does so half heartedly.
He goes through the motions afraid of what he might find.
He looks like the model man
But only he knows what it is like to be in his shoes.
To be behind the mask.
To be the hypocrite that nobody knows.
He needs to surrender, but He is afraid of the unknown.
So he searches, searches in vain.

Huh... I wonder how many people can relate to that. Faking where you are at, pretending to have it all going on, but truly being scared to death of admitting the reality that you don't, and being scared of letting go and letting God take control.

-kyle.trigg

It's been a long while, I know

2009-10-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

I just went to my blog and realized I haven't published anything since April. What a shame that is! You may look at that as an indication of how busy I am, which is extremely, but nonetheless, it's a misfortune that I haven't published anything on here for so long.

However, I have been writing. I have lots of neat things saved onto my computer, even drafts on my blog that are just awaiting editing before I post them on here, and I have some unfinished thoughts floating in my head that will (hopefully) very soon arrive on this here blog.

For the meantime, I think I have come to the conclusion that in life, I am too busy. I have too much going on, too many things I have committed myself too, and too many things occupying my time. They are all very good things, which is the struggle, but there are far too many. I realized this over the weekend when in conversation, nearly everytime the topic of how many things I am involved in and how busy I am came up, which is a tragedy really.

I think this is dangerous, being as busy as I am. In some ways I guess it's good, the good ole cliche of how being busy "keeps me out of trouble" which is true, I do not even have time to get in trouble. So I suppose I'm thankful for that. But, there is also dangers involved, and that is what I am starting to realize.

Wish I could expand on this thought a whole lot more, but I have a book that doesn't read itself! I think I am going to try to be more intentional and dilligent about writing on here. As an external processor (and a very, very obvious E.P., as in you'll be hard pressed to find someone that processes more externally than I) this is a good way for me to see what is truly going on upstairs. Most of the time I have thoughts floating in my head, and I am not even aware they are there until I start to write... Maybe, this is the truly best formula for me to stay sane?

Oh, and P.S. if I were to listen to the news, I would probably have H1N1, a super bug, something wrong in my lungs, an aneurism, a broken rib, and tore my ACL... At least, that's how I feel - I feel terrible! My head is very near explosion, I'm afraid. Got a nasty cough, my knees be hurtin' that's for certain, and my back hurts too! Oh the joys of being a student and an athlete, who is (ironically) too busy to sleep enough, which leads to me being sick. But that's okay, my life is completely full of joy because of what I get to do, just at times I get overwhelmed with all of my commitments, so I need to write about it to stay sane.

-kyle.trigg

Pet Peeve.

2009-04-08T07:28:00.000-07:00

I'm in class right meow, which is generally a great class. The content is fascinating, the material is well delivered, I have great friends in this class, really I don't have any complaints... except one...

The professor clears his throat every ten seconds. It's actually ridiculous. He has his water bottle in his hand daily... SHOULDN'T THAT HELP?! Or clearing your throat six times within the last minute... SHOULDN'T THAT HELP TOO?!?!

Woe is me.
Woe is me.

I so wish he wouldn't, it's distracting, and so frustrating... ugh, I think it would be fair to say it is my pet peeve.

(he just had a triple throat clearing)

Have a day full of happiness :)

-kAt

That puddy on the ground, was my brain.

2009-04-06T22:52:00.000-07:00

I wish I had more time to blog.

But if you look carefully under the cubicle I frequently sit at in the library(it's tremendously annoying, it rattles and makes far too much noise.. We tried to glue it back to a normal cubicle with gum, t'was a sufficient temporary fix.)

I just want to leave it at this:

Supply, Support, and Sustain me.

You and I both know I need it desperately.

You're cool God, I love you and I say thank-you in advance.

-kAt

World Religions.

2009-03-31T08:24:00.000-07:00

So much potential.

That is oh so wasted.

This class truly is a shame. I have taken classes that I do not particularly enjoy (ahem, high school years... but math, science, french... not my cup 'o' tea) and even in University there are some courses that are not my favourite (Hello Effective Writing and World Civilizations) but I have never taken a class that actually makes me angry.

It's not because the content is so bad that it leads to the evoking of anger... It's because there is SO much untapped potential in this class. The first day of this class there was probably about fifty people sporadically placed around the class there are now (let me scan the classroom and check...) 14 students, all of which are in the very last row on their laptops. Student X, remaining unnamed for their safety ;), is playing FreeCell, Student Y to my right, remaining anonymous for the aforementioned reason, is on facebook, and every other student I can see is fooling around on their computer to some extent. This class is painfully pathetic and horribly heinous!

It's so frustrating because I think it could be fantastic. Not to mention it's at 8:15 - ew.

Such a cryin', cryin', cryin' shame... My ode to Jack Johnson. WHOM by the way is one dreamy man... in a heterosexual way... He is as dreamy as they come.

Signed,

Bored in the backrow.

RE.

2009-03-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

"And what was said to the rose to make it unfold, was said to me here in my chest" - David Crowder Band

"Re" seems to be a recurring (aha!) theme in my life lately. So many words that begin with those two commonly used letters are so applicable and appropriate for how I am currently feeling in my life.

I feel refreshed, rejuvenated, relieved, renewed, etc... I feel new, I feel alive. I have had a sudden inrush of passion, love, joy, excitement and general zeal for life. I have never felt better. It has got me to thinking of how God works in lives. Last semester was a rough one for me. Feelings of apathy determined what I did with myself. I was not overly motivated to do much with myself, I felt as though maintaining status quo with my life was perfectly acceptable. I did not have much desire to strive for more. But then I did the best thing for myself that I have done in months, something that was severely lacking within my personal life, and that is reading the Bible.

It is an incredible thing to see how spending regular time in the bible has had a direct influence on the course of my life. Regular time in the bible seems like such a natural thing to do as a Christian and just what everyone should always do, but lately I have seen more and more in my current situation that there is a decreasing number of individuals in regular scripture study. OH what they are missing out on!

I have never felt so impassioned and alive in my life than I have lately. God has opened His flood gates into the centre of my soul, and let me be the first to say, it is incredible! The word of God is moving in me, transforming me, and changing me daily. Life has become an adventure, a journey, an experience again... I am alive with excitement for where I am going and what is happening within me!

I have come to the realization that I am not meant to be a mediocre man, nor do I desire to be. I am not going to have a mediocre life, a mediocre ministry, or mediocre anything. Mediocrity is not good enough for me, it is not what I want... I want extraordinary, phenomenal, and unprecedented impact. I know that this is only possible through one means, and that is God. I have nothing without Him, He is what I need, what I seek after, what I desire... I want God to use me. I know that on a biological level I am no different than any other human on earth... but that does not limit me to a life the same as everyone else.

I know that God has big plans for my life, I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I have had two incidents that could have very easily taken my life, medical experts would say I should no longer be "kickin" it on mother earth... yet here I am. God has a plan for my life, Jeremiah 29 promises me that. But with that said I think that to whom much is given, much is required... I have been given infinitely more than I could have ever hoped for, which is an incredible blessing... But I also think it means that infinitely more is going to be required of me, and has been required of me. I feel as though I never have any right to be prideful again (I am unfortunately, because I have so much "ugly!") but I know that anything I have in this world, what I think I have, is a direct blessing, gift, and privilege from God. Something I do not deserve.

I guess you can call me a man on a mission. I know that God has a high calling on my life, I know that there are a lot of expectations on me, and I know that I cannot just maintain status quo... I have to be a leader in this generation, I desire to be a vessel that God uses to reach the nations.

I went for a directionless drive with a good friend yesterday through neighbourhoods and on the high way. I passed countless houses, cars, people on walks... All I am sure have a great life, but it made me realize there are many people doing the same, mundane things on a daily level , living life at status tuo (wa-ohohoh, stick to the status quo.. HSM anyone?) BUT I am beyond convinced that as Christians we have so much more to offer this world.

We can and should be a movement. We are called to be a movement of love, hope, joy. This movement is one that cannot be stopped.

In fact, the only thing stopping us is ourselves...

Be blessed,

kAt.

Relationships.

2009-03-13T12:27:00.000-07:00

Here's something that has been cycling around blogs and emails and notes and all of that jazz... it's powerful, it's practical, it's real.

----------------------

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says...

No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, will you be ready to have the intensely personal, and unique relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. Just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am, keep listening and learning the things I tell you. Just wait. That's all.

Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at things others have got or I have given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. Just keep looking up to me, or you will miss what I have to show you.

And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could dream of. You see, until you are ready and the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time.), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and thus is perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of Perfect Love, of your relationship with another as you become One. I want you to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and Love that I offer. A perfect love that is unified by me. Know that I love you utterly. Believe it! Be satisfied!

-- Jesus.

I know what is missing...

2009-02-10T00:49:00.001-08:00

Something's Missing - John Mayer

I'm not alone, I wish I was
'Cause then I'd know I was down because
I couldn't find a friend around
To love me like they do right now
They do right now

I'm dizzy from the shopping mall
I searched for joy but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
And a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
At all

When Autumn comes, it doesn't ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is, no I don't know what it is
At all

I can't be sure that this state of mind
Is not of my own design
I wish there was an over-the-counter test for loneliness
For loneliness like this

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Something's different
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Friends - check
Money - check
Well-slept - check
Opposite sex - check
Guitar - check
Microphone - check
Messages waiting on me when I come home - check

How come everything I think I need
comes with batteries?
What do you think it means?
How come everything I think I need...
________________________________________________________________

...Never quite adds up? Always dissappoints? Everything you think you need has such high promises, such great guarantees. It promises to bring true inner contentment, promises to bring joy, happiness, fame, wealth, it promises the world... But it does nothing but prove to be futile, empty, shallow, and leaves you feeling worse than you began?

John Mayer, ahh I hear the girl's hearts swooning already. I hear some ridiculously talented guitar riffs just screaming off the page. I hear a voice that most would kill to have, and I see a young celebrity who could have any girl he wants, has had so many celebrity relationships, has the sold out concerts every night, has absolutely everything the world and our society claims to be the greatest, everything our world tries to hold up to value... Yet he writes a song about how he positively has something missing, how he isn't complete, how he has everything he could ever want, yet it's not enough. Hmmmm, very peculiar?

I think not. In fact I know not.

In fact it seems like it's becoming a common trend in today's world. Too many people buy the lie that the more you have, the better off you will be. But is bigger really better? I'm not convinced. The more you have does not necessarily equate to the more happiness you will possess.

Mr. John Mayer, John Doe, and far too many people who walk this earth, I know what is missing. It's Jesus Christ.

Our world is pushing away the one thing we absolutely, positively need to focus our life on. We're pushing Him out of schools, out of the malls, out of the stores, out of our lives, which is the one place we need Him the most.

The world we dwell in struggles with greed, jealousy, consumerism, materialistic ways, unfaithfulness, a lack of moral good, and a whole plethora of other deep-rooted issues. In this lost and hopeless world, I'm convinced the only hope we can solidly rely on is found solely in the life and death of Jesus Christ.

It been my experience that the greatest moments of joy and happiness I have experienced in my life are not the possessions I have, they are not found in what I buy, have, or get... They are found in the moments where I am doing exactly what I am callled to do. Place my hope, my love, my all into my saviour Jesus Christ, the times where I am sacrificially generous, overwhelmingly faithful, and serving from a humble heart. Now I admit, these moments are rare and far between in my life, and I am working on increasing the frequency of these times in my life, but I know that those are the times where I feel most complete, most full of joy, most free, and most loved.

John Mayer, you're missing the most valuable, incredibly gift ever offered your way. I promise you that you will not be dissappointed, I promise you will not be left down, in fact you'll be loved beyond anything you have ever witnessed or experienced. You're right you know, you're not designed to feel this way, you're not created to be alone, you're created to love and be loved, best part is, it's free.

And there's no need for batteries.

Truth hurts??? I think it brings forth freedom.

2009-02-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

It's funny.

The truth hurts has become a cliche of this day and age... I think that the only reason the truth hurts is because oftentimes we lie, disguise, or avoid the truth. We avoid things that may 'rub us the wrong way' hoping that it will disappear but we all know that never happens... We may temporarily avoid the uncomfortable feelings that the truth may bring our way... But avoiding the stitch will rarely bring true authentic joy, peace, and comfort into the centre of our souls.

A great example is avoiding the basic hygiene practice of brushing your teeth. Sometimes when it's late at night, or a rushed morning it's difficult to find the minute to brush your teeth, so you just think "I'll have gum, mouthwash, and do an extra job tonight" (Okay, I know this is disgusting, but don't act like it hasn't happened to you at some point in your life! In case you were wondering, I brush my teeth at a high frequency - I'm a part of the cavity free club at my dentist!) And this may lead to a slight tooth ache, and we just avoid doing anything about it. But eventually we get a cavity, or need a root canal, and for anyone who has had either of those, you cannot avoid that! It is far too painful! All that to say, is that avoiding telling the truth right up front is what causes the truth to hurt.

I have come to realize that avoiding the truth, avoiding things that may make me feel uncomfortable, lying, or distorting the truth are some of the most damaging things one can do in a relationship. Whether that be a relationship with a friend, signficant other, parent, business partner - anyone... it causes severe damage. And the only way to remedy the damage that has been done is through telling the truth, the fully truth, and nothing but the truth (My tribute to the justice system) which is so often what hurts. It is far from easy telling the truth at all times, I get that, I know that well. But it's even more difficult to tell the truth after lying to disguise the reality.

The Glorious Unseen - Hear Our Cries Lord

2008-04-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

Hear our cries Lord,
Hear our prayers.
Take our burdens,
Calm our fears.

God will you make us
A people that love You.
Please take our offerings
That we set before You.
God hear our prayers
That we're lifting up to You.
God see our tears
That we're struggling to see through.
God, hear our prayers to You.

In our weakness,
You remain.
When we're broken,
You sustain.

God will you make us
A people that love You.
Please take our offerings
That we set before You.
God hear our prayers
That we're lifting up to You.
God see our tears
That we're struggling to see through.

God hear our prayers.
We lift them to You.
God hear our prayers,
Lord make our hearts true.
Will You make our hearts true?

Hear our prayers Lord.

God will you make us
A people that love You.
Please take our offerings
That we set before You.
God hear our prayers
That we're lifting up to You.
God see our tears
That we're struggling to see through.
God hear our prayers
As we lift them to heaven.
We're praying the angels
Receive and embrace them.
The hopes of the empty,
The cries of the broken.
We're reaching our hands out,
Oh Lord will You hold them?

-------------------------

If you have not heard of the Glorious Unseen I strongly encourage you to check them out. I recently bought their album, and not only is it solid music... It's worship. it's powerful. Lyrics that touch the heart. Yes, I love them!

People People People.

2008-04-11T08:47:00.001-07:00

Is it weird that I love to people watch?

If it is, call me the King of quirky, and captain crazy... Because I really enjoy watching people on the street, in their cars, and essentially anywhere that people will be. I am not a crazed stalker, I assure you of that, I do not go out of my way to watch individuals, nor do I follow any individuals more than others... So, have no fears, I am anything but a crazy stalker!

Sometimes I just like to sit (i.e. at a train station) and look at the people that walk by. I’m not sure why I enjoy it, because more often than not, to be completely honest and truthful, it breaks my heart.

This moment I am sitting on seventh floor, a floor where people often come to just “be” to relax, hang out, socialize, and catch up between class periods. Earlier today I was driving downtown to my classes, and I remember looking around from car to car, looking at the people in their cars, and sometimes I just wonder, why are people the way they are.

I could go into the philosophy argument over the identity of self is, using David Hume’s argument that people find their personal identity in bundles of perceptions and memories. Essentially saying that people are the way they are, their self identity is found in nothing more than a bundle of interconnected perceptions.

I could use Sigmund Freud’s argument that our personality is divided up into many different parts, that we are the way we are because of the unconscious, the ego and the super ego.

Blah, Blah, Blah... I don’t want to talk about school work, I have too much of that as it is, I do not even intend on discussing this topic into great depth. I was sitting and noticing how many different people act and I wanted to blog since it has been well over a month, and so I thought I would write on that.

I think what I really wanted to get at is the very obvious fact that we are all people, people who bleed, burn, break, we all cry, complain, and we all laugh. We are all carbon-based life forms, and we are all connected together, whether we like to admit that or not, it’s true and there is nothing we can do to avoid or change this fact.

I realize I am far from perfect, in fact, many things I will be saying in this little writing I will have contradicted many times in my life, but perhaps that is why I can write on this, because I realize the destruction involved, I get the feelings behind the various facades that are placed by so many people.

Virtually everyone knows the song written by War, entitled “Why Can’t we be friends” (it just says, Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends... over and over again, catchy little jingle) I think we would all do well to listen to that and realize the deep truth in the song.

Why can’t we be friends?

We’re not so different, I promise you. I’m not so different from you, no matter who you are, where you’re from, what you have done (hey that’s kind of like a backstreet boys song), I can assure you, with a very reasonable level of certainty that we could be friends. Let us test this out: Do you have parents (yes), what are they like? What’s your favourite kind of food, after all I can guarantee that you at the very least appreciate food. How about hobbies, I know you have hobbies, what do you love to do. What are you passionate about, what are you all about, why? That is a conversation that you can have with any person on this earth, and every single person will have answers to. I realize that their answers may be different, potentially polar-opposites from what you would say, but a conversation will be had, and in conversation you have the opportunity to learn. If the answers are completely different, you can learn about new topics, your eyes can be opened to new perspectives, new ideas, new experiences, and that in and of itself is a truly great and exciting opportunity!

We all need people in our lives, we all need community, and we all need love. Without love, the fabric of our souls are unfed, they’re deprived of one of the very few things we are designed to need.

One thing that breaks my heart about the people I see around me is that they’re all crying out for love, but they’re unwilling to receive it, or they are unwilling to meet the one thing that can truly satisfy them. Many people try to receive love in all the wrong places, trying desperately to gain acceptance and love in sex, drugs, and alcohol. They feel that if they give themselves to another, they will feel needed, they will feel accepted. They think that taking drugs will take their mind away from the pain; it will bring them to happiness. They learn to love the feeling of being drunk, because they can dull the pain away, they can deny how they are truly feeling; they can ignore their body’s cry for love, by overpowering it with alcohol. But this can only take you so far. You cannot ignore your bodies cry forever, eventually, no matter what style of life you live, if there is an absence of true love, you will feel empty and alone. A feeling that only one God can fill.

A love that only one God can give.

- kAt

Roadtrip- Update #5

2008-02-27T16:24:00.001-08:00

Here it is, the final recap of the greatest roadtrip I have ever been a member of!

So we went to the Ocean, and it was straight up amazing. Being at the Pacific Ocean was such a God-moment. Standing on the cliffs, overlooking the ocean, seeing the powerful waves crash into the rock wall with the spray reaching heights over 100 feet, hearing the power as the water continually pounded against cliff I stood on, it was truly awe-inspiring.

As I stood on the edge of the cliff overlooking the picturesque scene, I was blown away that the very God who created all of that loves me infinitely more. He created that in one day, ONE DAY! (that in and of itself is insane!) but that it took Him nine months to create me, that is how much more beautiful, unique, and valuable He thinks that I am. Also, that as I stood on the rocks praying, I was talking with the very God that created the ocean in front of me... That blew me away.

After the Ocean we went to Newport (NOT Newport California, as in the home of the O.C, a place in Oregon) This place was a very neat opportunity. We walked along the boardwalk, and looked at the local shops and places. We went down one dock, and right below us there were approximately a dozen Sea Lions. I had no idea Sea Lions were so large, they were probably like five feet wide, and ten feet long, it was bizarre! They also can create the loudest noise, it will blow you away! They have so much power, it is crazy!

We went to place called Mo's for supper. It was such a "cute" little place on the main drag in the town. Apparently they have the best Clam Chowder on the entire coast, and it does not surprise me at all, it was absolutely delicious! Also, our waiter was awesome, he doted on us and was very tolerant of our crazy ways!

After that we all went to another part of the ocean, and tried desperately hard to start a bonfire, but seriously, we failed badly. There was no chance of a fire, the beach was far too wet, we could barely get the paper started! It was a really bad attempt. Karlie got ran over by a wave, and that was very funny. You would think that an individual would be able to tell that the wave was coming in at a fairly high rate of speed, and that individual would be able to make the appropriate adjustments and run away... But she stood there and walked slowly away, and in doing so, was soaked from the knees down. It was quite funny.

While on the beach we also ran into a crazy hoola-hoop lady... She had a $300 dollar light-up hoop. It was nutty! But a lot of fun.

After that we went back to the Boda place, and had a great evening there!

The day at the Ocean was by far my favorite day, it was so breathtaking, and I am now in love with the Ocean. I would love to live closer to the ocean someday, and hopefully someday I will have that opportunity. We'll see where God leads me.

Now it is time for the recap, and to do that I will just write the list of things that we will remember this roadtrip by!

1. Road trip, Woo!
2. Arrested Development
3. Scott's speeding ticket
4. Nothing Better - The Postal Service
5. Don't Stop Believing - Journey
6. Our Song - Taylor Swift
7. The most cramped vehicle ever
8. Over 4, 000 kilometers driving
9. TrailBlazer's Basketball
10. Mount Hood snowboarding
11. Mark + Karlie's lame game!
12. Casey's Leafs sweatpants, and her new sweater!
13. Cloves
14. Karlie getting run over by the wave
15. Our "bonfire" at the Ocean
16. Candy hearts, Cupcakes (aka muffins), Starbucks (Mark+Taylor's pink drinks), Peanuts/Cookies/Donuts, Scott falling on the road to the Lighthouse,
17. Breaking into the Lighthouse, committing the felony! (unfortunately, this also caused me to lose the key)
18. Mark crushin' on Kirsten, Ingrid, and Erin. Also, giggling when we prayed the first night.
19. Scaring people!
20. The Ocean

I can keep going, but that is just a snapshot!

Keep on keepin' on people,

kAt

Roadtrip- Update #4

2008-02-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

It's that time again, the late night updates of the roadtrip!

Today we went to Mount Hood to snowboard. It was such a beautiful at day, it was five degrees so the weather was really warm, which sounds awesome, and to a certain degree it was... But the snow was very wet, and very slow, so it was difficult to get any real riding done, because there was no powder, and powder is my passion with snowboarding. So that part was difficult, however a whole lot of fun. We made games out of the conditions, like the snow was so warm we could make amazing snowballs... So we played snowball tag, and that was sweet, I never got caught once, therefore I won. That was nifty, but in all reality the only loser was Scotty, because he was the one who was it last, and the longest. Then for the lunch hour, Mark and I went on a sweet photoshoot! Anything we saw that we believed to be an awesome picture opportunity, we fully grasped! We have dozens of pictures from all over the lodge, with animals, carvings, stairs, walls, it is very funny, those pictures will be on Facebook soon, so look for that!

After that we went to a Basketball game at some "gangsta" school named McKay... We watched a junior varsity game, and it was really good. I am quite confident that the two teams I watched played today, at the junior varsity level, could destroy any senior team in Calgary, it was nuts. Super high caliber of Basketball.

I then came home tonight, and I have not really done too much. I have basically been on the computer and watching television for the night. It has been very nice to relax.

Tomorrow we are going to the Ocean, and I am looking forward to that immensely. It will be a beautiful day, God willing. I hope it is, I would love to be able to spend some quiet time on the cliffs over-looking the most powerful water in the world, admiring the sunset, before having a bonfire on the beach. I think it will be wonderful, and I hope that our plans will be worked out. Hopefully the weather is appropriate, and that it will be as good as we hope it to be.

Today was a short one, not too much happened outside of our snowboarding trip to Mount Hood. I hope that I am not boring you too much with these entries, and if I am... I don't really care I guess, if the truth be told. I don't write these blogs for you, I write them for me, so I can remember where I've been, to see what I have done, and to see what I have felt. And today, was a feel-good day at Mount Hood. Maybe in two years I will look back at what happened today, and I will remember the good times from Mount Hood. So if they bore you, I will never force you to read my writings, although I am thankful you are reading this entry, do not feel obligated to do so!

I love you all friends, even if I don't know you, I am pretty sure if I met you, I would start to love you... Not in a creepy way, but in virtue of you're human, and God created you, therefore, I appreciate you so much, the faults do not matter... That is what I mean, I love and appreciate you as a God-created human. Yeah, that is what I meant.

Peaceout.

kAt

Roadtrip- Update #3

2008-02-21T00:44:00.000-08:00

As a forewarning, I will let you know that today's update will be short. Today was a fairly uneventful day, but still, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The boys in thee room slept in and woke up at 12:35 to be exact, which was so splendid. I ask you, how can the day be poor when you start off by sleeping in so late? I do not know, it was very nice to sleep in though.

After that, Taylor and I quickly showered, (not together, let me make that very clear) and we were off to Woodburn to shop at the awesome outlet stores. On the way there, we thought confidently that we knew the way... Well, when we drove by the Oregon State Penetentiary we realized that we were sadly mistaken, and in actual fact, did not know the way. So we turned around, and somehow managed our way there. I was rather impressed.

So we walked around the malls for quite some time. Taylor lost his mind in excitement when he discovered that everything in the Etnies store was fifty percent off. He had to buy himself a pair of shoes, so he bought these super flashy shoes... Ballin'
I did not like anything enough there, so I couldn't justify myself buying shoes there. I did buy a hoody, I'm not even a huge fan of it, but the deal was so "hawt" that I bought it anyways... Even though I already have more sweaters then like any four people combined... I tell you, me shopping, it's a horrible thing. So I went to Zumiez, and in that store I spent a really long time, trying desperately to find something I like enough to buy, but I couldn't. Zakk, if you're reading this, stop now... I bought him a super sweet sweater, that I would have bought for myself, but, I really don't need sweaters, but I love it... So I bought it for him, and hopefully, someday I'll be fortunate enough to borrow it from him. I bought myself two shirts, but they were just a really good deal, so that's how I justified it... My already astronomical number of t-shirts increased by two today... I don't want to ever count how many I have, I feel guilty.

After that, I looked in every shoe store that was available, but to no avail. There was nothing I even liked border line enough to buy... It is sad really, the one thing I really needed to buy, I couldn't even find. I hate that.

So Taylor and I headed back down South to Salem... And we got lost again. We ended up on some road called Enchanted Way... So I asked Taylor if he'd like to take a ride down the Enchanted Way with his Baby Boy, but he declined, saying no, get me back to Salem. So I turned the pimp mobile, aka my Mom and Dad's minivan around, and we headed back to Salem, following the signs very closely... And we made it home with no problems from there on!

We came back to the Boda place, where we did not do too much for the remainder of the evening. We had supper, and looked at old yearbook pictures of our parents, which was hilarious. Matt (owner of the house we're staying at) went to school with all of our parents (except Scotty's) so in his yearbooks we got to see the pictures of our parents, and what they were like back in the day... I have a striking resemblance to my father, so I am pretty sure I know what I will look like when i'm older, which is weird.

After that we sat in front of the television, made fun of each other, watched tv, sports hilights, you name it, just kind of veged out, it was a good period of relaxation, what this break is for.

We also came to the conclusion that tomorrow we are going to go ride Mount Hood... Which will be awesome, I truly am excited to go riding again. It's been awhile, the last time being over Christmas break, so tomorrow will be awesome.

I guess I just spent my evening on the computer on facebook, msn, and the usual computer activities... All in all, it was a very relaxing evening, which is needed in my life lately... Back home I am always going, so it is very nice to just sit and be.

Anyways, I'm off to the place I love being at this time of night... That being my bed.

Goodnight Friends, and Be Blessed this week.

kAt

Roadtrip- Update #2

2008-02-20T00:46:00.000-08:00

Update #2, coming from you live in Salem, Oregon!

Today was a whole lot of fun... We did not do too, too much... But it was certainly a blast.
We woke up at 11:30, after getting 11.5 hours of sleep!
Taylor, Mark, and I are all in the same room... Scotty wanted to sleep downstairs, so the three of us are sharing a room, and having a whole lot of fun. Taylor snored, Mark snored AND talked in his sleep, while I just sleep talked on something about a movie... I'm not entirely sure, all I know is that I slept more last night then I have ever this year, it was quite wonderful.

After that we drove to pick Kara up from work, and we took her out for lunch to the mall. Then we went to a store called Zumiez... Best store ever! Every time I have been in there I have been in there for at least an hour, it's just so amazing. Anyways, I was in there for that long, but I did not even buy anything for myself! Isn't that crazy, me, a shop-a-holic, went without buying a single article of clothing... Applause will be accepted here. I could not justify buying anything for myself unless I loved, loved it... And today, oddly enough, there was nothing. However (Emily if you are reading this... STOP NOW) I did buy my sister an unnamed amount of clothing for her birthday.... And those articles of clothing, they are so awesome! If I was a girl, I'd love them, so I know she will.

After that we came back to the Boda's place, and we just hung out here until it was time for the Portland Trail Blazers game! That was a great ole time. Unfortunately, Portland lost their fifth game in a row, but the game was a whole lot of fun. Casey's friend, Kelsey came, and the seven of us rolled into Portland to watch the game. This was only the second NBA game I've been to, and it was good times. They played Sacramento (I know, two of the worst teams in the NBA playing, but hey, it was still a lot of fun) our tickets were priced awesome! And the environment was incredible to be in.

After that we went for desert/appetizers at a place called Shari's... Taylor, Kelsey and I also had Cloves... Which are really, really good, and super smooth. Then we sat down, talked, had some incredible laughs (compliments of Mar "the King" Ram... aka Mark Ingram" Man, he was on fire tonight, cracking jokes that were straight up hilarious!

After that we came back to the Boda crib, and I have just msn'd and facebooked the entire time, it's been wonderful... Truly, it has.

To recap, I would like to add the funniest lines of the night... All said from the man, Mark Ingram...

"If looks could kill, you'd be seriously maimed"
"Did you see the way I ate that off the floor... It was like, BAM!"
"I said hey, how you doing... I played it cool"

Seriously, I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes... You definitely had to be there, and if you know and understand Mark, it makes it that much funnier, he's a gem, and super flippin' funny!

Again, this blog has little substance, I think I am going to avoid those posts over this roadtrip. I am going to try and just keep it simple with updates, and good memories. Perhaps on the way home I will write a deep blog with substance... But now is not the time. So I do not expect too many deep thoughts from me...

Be blessed friends

kAt

Roadtrip- Update #1

2008-02-18T22:09:00.000-08:00

So now that I have safely arrived in the beautiful state of Oregon, I think it is time for update number 1... What has gone "down" so far!

4.30am. That is the time I awoke to start our "epic adventure"
I awoke to Mark, Taylor, and Scotty being the biggest goofballs, one of the stooges would yell out "Roadtrip!" and the other two would reply with a hearty "woo!" It was hilarious, I have never seen anyone with so much energy so early in the morning, I was laughing so hard.
But the best part of the moment was the scare I had on Mark. Oh my goodness, it was hilarious. So I was lying in bed much later then anybody else was, and Mark thought he should come check on me, what a nice friend, looking out for me... Well, I decided it would be a great game to try and scare him, so I hid behind my laundry hamper and when he came down, he ever so innocently called out "Kyle, Kyle, it's time to wake up buddy" at which point, I lept at him with all my might, screaming like a banshee... Needless to say, I had a phenomenal scare. He started to slap the doorframe violently, making an unearthly noise... He proceeded to try and run up the stairs but he tripped and fell, and layed there, scared as can be. I was laughing. Laughing with great intensity, so much so, that I fell over. Scott, Taylor, Casey, and Karlie were upstairs laughing too, because they heard him scream from being scared. It was one of my greatest scares ever... Already, the roadtrip was off to an amazing start!

We then left my house, at approximately 5:10 and left for Salem, Oregon.
I was the first driver, and drove to CastleJunction, where Scotty took over. Driving through the mountains while the sun was just starting to rise was a remarkable experience. Scott and I were just talking about how truly huge our God is, and how often our fellow provincial-residents take these majestic mountains for granted.

Scott and I noticed how unbelievable these mountains are. It is truly awe-inspiring. Seeing these just makes one feel so small, so insignificant, but realizing how much more God loves me. He made the mountains in one day, yet he took nine months to creat me- How much more value He places on my life then he does on the mountains. It's humbling really.

We quickly stopped in Cranbrook for a Tim Horton's, our first and last break in Canada.

After that we had to stop at the border, but no problems there, the guy was actually really nice to us... And after we told him we were Bible College Students, he was a snap, he just rolled us on through.

And we went cruising into Oregon. It was a great time. We have cycled through the drivers and had countless amounts of candy/water/laughs. This trip is such a blessing in many ways. Not only am I fortunate enough to leave behind the extra stresses of school, but I am able to hang out with some amazing friends. I am also able to go to an incredibly beautiful state, drive along the ocean. So many incredible things.

I saw Mount St. Helens today, that was crazy... It is not nearly as a big a mountain as I would have guessed, it's almost small, compared to what I am used to seeing. I also saw Mt. Hood, where I will be snowboarding at some point throughout this week. I also saw a truly beautiful sunrise & sunset, the perks of driving for 13.5 hours in one day...

I am so excited for the future events of this week. I am going to an NBA tomorrow night, that will be amazing. I will also be shopping (I know, I like to shop ok, don`t make fun of me) I will also ride at Mt. Hood, which is a very illustrious snowboarding mountain, I am quite excited for that. I will also be going to the Ocean for a day, and I will be fortunate enough also to just spend time with some of my greatest friends.

Already today we have laughed so hard, from scaring Mark this morning, to the awkward moments (most of which Mark is the pivotal character in) Such as supper, when he giggled whien Kristen tried to hold his hand during prayer, it was hilarious.

I also learned how to Longboard today, so much fun! I am determined to get pro by the end of the week, and a longboard will definitely be my next substantial purchase.

I`m sorry for the poor caliber of writing that this entry has been, but I have had a dreadfully long day, having only 4 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours... But I had a desire to write about what little experiences we`ve had so far, in order that I do not lose them. So yes, that is my update. More to come!

kAt

Unfinished thoughts.

2008-02-15T08:56:00.000-08:00

Life is kickin' sweet. I could just leave it at that really, it sums everything up.

Honestly, living life every day is turning into such a pleasure. I know that this is a rare thing, and I really need to work on my taking that for granted, which has been the reality for essentially all of my life. I have been so blessed in almost every area of my life. Seriously, everything that I have taken part of, everything I have done, I have been blessed in.

Yet, I still have the ignorance, the naivety to live life without a sense of joy? That's crazy. I'm crazy. Crazy unmotivated. Like I said, life is a joy to live, and sometimes I get caught up in the fun that I forget the things that should be top priority. But hey, life is a journey, and one must learn different things at different stages in the journey... I think this year has been a lot about truly learning who I am, and what my purpose is, and what it means to follow God and trust Him with everything.

kAt

My Accident...

2008-02-14T11:43:00.000-08:00

I know I have published this on all forms of my social network, facebook and nexopia... However, this is single-handedly the most influential moment in my walk with God. Therefore, I believe it is worthy, even more than worthy, to be published on my early beginnings of a blog. Therefore, here it is... An exact copy of what I wrote that summer evening of June 21, 2007. I could go through and fix all the typos, fix the poor writing, but i wrote this like 7 hours after my accident, I was still in shock at the time of this writing, so for me personally... I find these errors to be an addition to the authenticity of this writing. Praise be to God that I am even alive, and able to write this blog now.
------------------------------------------------------------------
I am not going to write this to be dramatic, but i'm going to write it to tell about how truly lucky i am to be alive. I should be dead right now, or at least seriously injured and not be able to move, i should be lieing in a hospital bed for weeks... THis is what i heard from numerous medical professionals today.

I was in an accident today... and it was far from a good, healthy experience. I was driving to Olds to meet my friend whom i haven't seen for many years, and i guess that the heat and everything kind of got to me, and i lost control of the van... I wandered off the side of the road. You know how bridges sometimes have the cement ramps underneath them (this is the spot you often see homeless people sleeping in and stuff,) well that ramp acted as a jump for me, and i was told that i flew something like 20 feet in the air... i don't remember, this is what a guy, i really believe to be a guardian angel (as corny and fruity as that sounds) named Lauren told me.

See he was driving south to Calgary, as i said, i was driving north to Olds... And he said he looked over to the left and he saw a blue dodge caravan upsie down in the air... (Which was me)
He then said that i flipped and rolled , and all that fun stuff that nobody should ever see except for in the movies, and then came to a stop... Van smoking, complete wreck. The police report said that i actually was cartwheeling (rolling verticle...not the horizontal side over side but the windshied over the back of the van, and that i did that four times)
I was also told by the guys cleaning the scene up that the accident scene is almost 900 feet from where i first went into the ditch. I wasn't in my t-shirt, it was on the seat beside be, but when i looked, my shirt was 150 yards away from the van...
And then he saw me crawl out, and up the embankment towards the main road.

Lauren told me to just sit down, and not do anything. And i thought i was fine, i'm like just let me go get my phone.. he was like no way, you can use mine, i need you to lay dow and rest, so i did. Then a tow truck guy called 911 and i had the whole shabang of ems show up... firetrucks, ambulance(s), police cars... everyone, all for me... it was bizarre, it's all movie like.

Anyways, this Lauren guy is something like the Head of Medicinal Studies at the UoC, it's incredible, that one of the only witnesses was a man brilliant in medicine, he knew what to do until EMS got there, and it was definitely God-given gift... because he was an angel of sorts, as lame as that sounds, it's true.

So the EMS guys pulled up, and put me on the stretcher, the C-Spine (neck brace), IV, blood pressure, straps, you know, all that stuff you see on ER. And then the guy, named Mike, just went on for the entire 35 minute drive home went on to talk about how incredible it is i am alive.

He said that he has never, ever, seen anyone get out of a vehicle that is in that kind of shape... He also said where i crashed is the most deadly spot on the #2 highway. His exact words were
"dude, someone is watching over you. I'm not sure who and i'm not sure why, but somebody wants you alive, and for the crash you were in, he would've had to literally have a bubble of protection on you"

That blew my mind, because the only thing i remember is looking up through the sun-roof and seeing grass approaching, while everything is else is completely silet. I'm not sure if you've ever felt that experience, but i can honestly say that i won't forget it soon, it was terrifying. I then remember rolling, over and over again, and just crying out "God protect me, God protect Me, God protect Me" ... And i walked out of that car, walked up the embankment, and 7 hours later walked out of the hospital to go home, with a headache, two HUGE bandaids, and a couple of 'abbrasions'... i should be dead, but i walk out with that...

Which is why i believe with all of my little 17 yr old heart that God had his hand of protection over me. Now i realize just how hokey-pokey Sunday SChool crappy that sounds, and coming from me may not mean a whole lot, because i haven't had the best of years, but guys, this changed me. I realize now that God could take my life away, and that he saved me. Mike said that someone saved me for something important, and i don't know what that is, i don't have a clue, but i do realize that God saved my life today. And i intend to live my life for him. This year i definitely did'nt do that, i struggled this year, gave in to the party scene a little bit, but that's not really who i am. I am a guy that has been bought for a price, and i am not intending to live for God, it's the least i can do after he literally saved my life.

To be honest, this doesn't even come close to explaining what i went through, it's a horrible, horrible memory, one that i will not be able to forget. Anytime i close my eyes i just remember flipping and rolling in that ditch... but you know what, it's all good. I am fine with that, because it does remind me of the power that the one who created me has...

Sorry if that's lame, but it's the truth.
there's not denying that

God Saved My Life today.

06/22/07

The One Thing I want.

2008-02-10T02:39:00.001-08:00

Right now, if there was one thing I seek or desire, is clear thoughts, a sense of guiding, and vision for certain events that will be taking place in the near future.

I need guidance and vision for the worship that will be taking place this upcoming weekend. I so want this weekend to be a powerful weekend of worship, something that will be truly incredible, and straight from God... I honestly want nothing out of it. I pray that God will strip all the human attributes from me for this night, and that I will do nothing but sing my heart out, purely to glorify God, and to build up His kingdom, not mine. I don't care about my Kingdom, not even a little bit.

To be honest, right now I am almost frustrated with the worship weekend, and the way it has been progressing. I have been trying desperately to discover a set list, an order of songs, and the proper songs according to the message, yet whenever I sit down to try to formulate a list of songs... I blank out, I cannot do it. It's frustrating.

But then it dawned on me... Perhaps I am trying to hard to figure it out on my own, trying to find song that I like, that I want to play to make me look good. I think that I need to just leave it up to God, because realistically, He is the only one capable of helping me.
I have to learn to rely on Him, and now this isn't just music, this is about my life... In every way I have got to learn to rely on Him, and draw my strength from Him. I have to learn to trust Him, and follow him with a completely devout, surrendured heart. Without that, I am just living a life of mediocrity, which is something I hate.

I do not want a mediocre life. Therefore, Lord God, I pray that you will send me vision, passion, and guidance.

Facedown Worship. Something to be desired.

2008-02-09T00:28:00.000-08:00

Welcomed in to the courts of the King
I've been ushered in to Your presence
Lord, I stand on Your merciful ground
Yet with every step tread with reverence

And I'll fall facedown
As Your glory shines around
Yes, I'll fall facedown
As Your glory shines around

Who is there in the heavens like You?
And upon the earth, who's Your equal?
You are far above, You're the highest of heights
We are bowing down to exalt You

So let Your glory shine around
Let Your glory shine around
King of glory, here be found
King of glory
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First off, for the sake of clarification, in this blog when I refer to worship I mean purely on the music side of things. I honestly believe that worship is a lifestyle. That it is so much more than just music. It's how we live our lives, how we as his physical representatives in today's world live, and just how it is that we "be" BUT I really could, and guarantee that I will, at some point write a blog on worship... It's a topic that is near and dear to my heart, something I am passionate about, something that I have done much reading on, and I will definitely write on that at a later, unknown date...

But for this now, here's some things that the song Facedown by Matt Redman have made me think about.

This song is so powerful, so emotional, it really is quite remarkable.I remember the first time I played this song in Chapel, it was something remarkable. I remember seeing people on their hand`s and knee`s just worshipping God with all that they were, and I thought to myself, this is what worship should be like, complete surrender to Christ.

We are worshipping the Almighty God, the man who created the heavens and the earth. He is the one who holds the world in his hand, and we are trying to glorify his name, bringing him worth through our music or voices. I believe it is entirely possible and realistic that we should be brought to a state of facedown worship, God is so great, so vast, when we try to worship him, and we enter into his presence, it should consume who we are to the core of our being.

When we truly enter into the King's courts, nothing we have can come close to being worthy of God. We feel so small, so useless, so finite in his infinite love, that nothing we do feels appropriate or even close to being proper to give to God as an offering... Therefore, we offer the only thing we can do, we fall down, and just lay down at Yahweh`s feet crying out to God.

I think the term "facedown" is significant because it's the complete sign of surrender. What can represent surrender more accurately then laying down, heads down and our body's bowed before God? I fail to think of anything.

Worshipping God in this way, is incredibly poweful.

When we are brought to our knees in God's presence, that is something truly special.

kAt

I'm So Blessed.

2008-02-09T00:07:00.000-08:00

Community and fellowship are interesting things.
I've been reading a lot about them in Dietrich Bonhoeffer's book "Life Together" and I really do believe in the importance of these in the Christian journey. That is why I believe I am so blessed, God has granted me with an amazing network of friends, and placed me in an incredible community of people.

In my life, I have been incredibly blessed by having truly amazing friends. Everywhere I have been, I have been able to connect with solid Christian people, and this is one thing that I really believe has influenced who I have become. Having these Christians friends has helped me in so many ways. They have helped keep me accountable, they have helped encourage me when I need encouragement, help lift me up when I need it, and called me on things I needed to be called on.

Tonight's life group is the single-handed motivation of this blog. I am honestly so blessed by these guys. I`ll be honest, at the beginning of the year, I didn`t really know what I was getting myself into, I was not mature enough to realize the opportunity I had to hang out with some straight-up incredible guys.

But now, it is honestly the highlight of my weekend. I so look forward to hanging out with my boys- they truly are a blessing. I can honestly say with everything I am, that these guys have had a huge influence on me, and I`m starting to love them, as brothers... Strictly platonic of course.

I know I am nothing special, I`m just some normal guy, who has been given the amazing chance and privilege of hanging out with these guys. I never realized that until after Christmas though, and I felt horrible because I felt as if I had ruined the first half of the year. But now, I really believe that we`re growing together and starting to truly learn about each other and God, while truly connecting, and it`s an incredibly thing, to live life together, to grow and deal with the things that life throws our way. I love these boys, they've been a large blessing in my life. I can't wait to continue our relationship as a small group, we're going to be lethal! Just wait Foothills Alliance and Calgary and then abroad... Us Vegas Boys are coming, on fire for Christ!

kAt

I wouldn't change a thing.

2008-02-07T23:53:00.000-08:00

Here I am, sitting on the couch, with my laptop on it's usual location, my lap. Staying up way past the time I should retire for sleep, but for some reason, I cannot sleep.

Tonight has been a flurry of emotions. My range of emotions have varied from holding my dearest belongings and just wanting to throw them against the wall, which I nearly did, and is how I currently feel. Yet not even two hours ago while playing my guitar I had an incredible moment with God, almost to the point of facedown worship.

I do not even know what the cause for these fluctuations in my mood is for. I just realize that at the moment, I am very frustrated, very aggravated and mad, and I do not even know at what. Which is frustrating in and of itself. If I knew what I could work on, I could help myself out.
I realized today that there are very few people who know the real me. Very few people that see me for who I truly am. I have become far too talented at hiding my real feelings, my real desires and what I really am like, almost as if I am constantly hiding behind this ridiculous facade of some teenage boy who has it all together.

I hide the real me far too often, there is only a handful of people who have seen the real me and, and that is terrifying. Not because I am scared that people will know me for who I am. It terrifies me because I believe we should be entirely real with everyone we meet, and I rarely do that myself, and that scares me because how many of my friends are hiding too? How many people are struggling just as I am, yet have nobody to talk to?

For me personally, I think it is heart-wrenching that I have lived my life for 18 years, constantly battling with showing who I truly am, and struggling with the idea of living true to that person. According to Psychologists, this is normal, from the teenage years to early twenties, us “young adults” are supposed to feel an identity crisis. But I do not have a crisis, I have a border line pandemic, because I have had so many identities over the year, and none of them last. The only one that lasts is the one I am trying to show more often, and that is the real Kyle.

Over the years, I have tried to find my identity in almost anything that a person can be found in, hoping to find something that was real. How narrow minded and naive I was, how could I possibly find who I am, if I’m looking in all the wrong places of this world. I tried the whole party scene briefly, and I stress briefly for that is a terribly sad environment, I could write an entire entry on the futility of that world. I tried the athletics. I even got nominated for Athlete of the Year, I was offered scholarships, I was given All-Star status, yet I still felt just as empty afterwards as I did before. I tried school, I excelled and had a 94 average, yet still I was unsatisfied. I tried music, which turned into worship, and I fell in love with it, which was very dangerous because I fell in love not with the worship, but with the music. I fell in love with musical side of thigns, not the great divine creator of the Earth I was worshipping. I cannot think of too many more things that can be as dangerous to a congregation as the people falling in love with the music, not the message the music brings forth. Ask Matt Redman. That is why he wrote the song "Heart of Worship"

All I know is that through everything, there is one constant. And that is my God, the Big-Guns upstairs... I know that throught it all, I fall back on Him. I also know that He is in control. I know that everything I have gone through, and everything I have done, that has happened and taken place for a very distinct reason. I may have regrets and things I wish I had not done, but I would not undo anything that has happened, because those are the things that have brought me to who I am today.

And I do love who I am. I truly thing I am blessed in this. I know that not many people feel that way, yet when I look in the mirror, I truly do love what I see. Of course I see blemishes and areas that I need significant help on, but I know that God will help me through and make me better through it. I realize I am a constant work in process, and for that I am thankful.

I am excited to live this journey of life.
And I think that is special and rare... and for that, I am thankful.

kAt

Initial Blog, Initial Feelings

2008-02-07T23:49:00.000-08:00

I have not reached a conclusion as to whether or not I will make this public.

I am debating keeping it private, leave it just for my sake, to see where I have been, what God has helped me through, what trials and tribulations I have faced in the past...

Or I may make it public, and let everyone see my thoughts, which is kind of a weird feeling, letting everyone know what is on my mind.

Right now, I do not know, which means it will stay private, someday it may become public, who knows.

kAt

________________________________________________________

I've decided I'm going to make this public... What is more important then being honest and open with each other?
Therefore, here is me and my honest, open thoughts.

Enjoy!